Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Why are Black Women So Difficult to be With?

My Coworker and I had this conversation the other day at work. I wanted to blog about it as soon as I got off work that day, but things came up as they always do so.... Anyway better late than never huh?
This is the guy I blogged about in an earlier post... You might remember, the republican, married to a white women, raised out in the sticks, yeah that guy. Anyway, we were talking about interracial relationships and he told me why he married a white woman.
Side note..... I do not care about why he married a white woman. As long as they truly love each other and are happy, living productive lives, does it really matter what race she is?
However, since this was our topic for the day, I guess he felt the need to "come out", for lack of a better term. He told me that he has dated a few black women in his past and he just wasn't feeling them. He told me that they were temperamental, controlling, and manipulative. He told me he felt more at ease with white women. He told me if something happened to his marriage he would not even look at a black woman. Well that is his preference, so what could I say? I kind of understand why he feels like this, and I kind of don't.
Me, I love black women. I have been known to cross over to the Latinas in my younger and (single) days but.... I digress.....
Back on topic...
I love the challenge that black women give. I love the sassiness. I love the attitude. If a black man or any man for that matter, is lucky enough to find a black woman that loves him unconditionally he has found himself a ride or die chick. He has found a woman that will support him if he has a million dollars, or if he lives in his mommas basement. I love the strength of black women. Any woman that can put up with everything that our women have to put up with on a daily basis, is in my opinion, a Super Woman. I know that black women can be very opinionated and demanding, but that is because of the stupid and weak shit that we (black men) do. Let me explain.
We put a lot on black women. A survey said that 4 in 6 children born to black parents are born out of wedlock. Which means that 4 in 6 times the child is going to be raised by the mother. Which also means that the mother has to be the father, sole provider, the giver of discipline, the care giver and whatever else role that we as black men are supposed to be doing. I believe that God put everyone on this earth to play a specific part. Everyone has a role they are meant to play. I think that in these times men and women have forgotten what their role is.
Women are not supposed to raise kids alone. There is nothing that a woman can teach a boy about being a man. Just like there is nothing that a man can teach a girl about being a woman. It takes two.
I believe this is why that some men think that black women are so difficult to have a relationship with. We force black women to play the role that the black man is supposed to play. We put our women in a position were they have to be the only one to provide discipline, love and financial support to our children. We force them to fight and be hostile just so they can survive. We put our women out in harms way because there are some of us that are too weak to stand up and be the man that God made us to be.
Here is where the difficult part comes in to play. A black woman has had to fight and scratch to take care of everything that a black man should be taking care of.... And then a man comes into into her life that knows what his role is and he expects her to stop what she has been doing her whole adult life and revert to the role he thinks she should be in. Of course there is going to be some hostility. Your damn right there is going to be some attitude. There is going to be some manipulation and control issues. How could there not be?
This woman has been playing his part all her adult live and he expects her to change all of a sudden to suit him and his needs?
This woman has been hurt and betrayed by punk-ass little boys all her life and we expect her to automatically slip back into her part when we come along?
If the shoe were on the other foot how would we feel?
Everyone on this earth has a place that they are supposed to be in. Until we (black women and black men) find our place and settle into it, the misconception that the Original Woman, the Queen of the Universe, is controlling, manipulative and temperamental will not change.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

My House Negro of the Day

This is my House Negro of the day.

Sorry Field, I had to bite your saying for this one.

The negro pictured above is the first black U.S. Attorney for Louisiana, Mr. Donald Washington. He is the fool that decided that the white boys involved in the whole Jena fiasco should not be charged with a hate crime for all the mess that they started. Let's keep in mind that nobody would have ever heard of Jena, Louisiana if the white boys at that school had not hung nooses from that white tree. None of this would have made headline news if the black boys involved in this would have been treated fairly. No one has ever said that the black boys were innocent. They did beat a white boy down after he offended their manhood and their heritage with racial insults. They did what any group of teens would have done in any city anywhere in America.

If anyone goes to Little Italy in New York City and stands on the corner and yells " I hate Wops!" What do you think is going to happen? He will not make it out of Manhattan alive. If you go to China Town in San Francisco and start throwing around racial insults to the Chinese people that you see, what do you think will happen? You might end up on a plate next to some egg foo cat. So yes, the fight that those boys got into was nothing more than a little teenage skirmish. (Even though it was racially motivated.) It should have been handled in Juvenile court, since all the participants were Juveniles, and the assault did take place at a high school.

But we all know that this did not happen did it?

The Juveniles were charged as adults by a ignorant and racist-ass DA and an equally racist-ass grand jury.

One of the boys was convicted and sent to jail by a racist all white jury that wanted to prove that even in 2007, that in the town of Jena, Louisiana if you are black, you need to stay in your place. Isn't that what the DA meant when he told the black boys involved that he could "end their lives with the stroke of a pen?"

Now this is when the house negro pictured above should had stepped in. Because if my limited knowledge of the law rank structure is correct, a US Attorney out ranks a District Attorney
everyday, all day. But as we all know he did not. When asked why he did not intervene in this case from the very beginning by the honorable Congresswoman Shiela Jackson Lee, this was his reply.....

“I was also offended, I too am an African-American,” “I did intervene, I did engage the district attorney. At the end of the day, there are only certain things that the United States attorney can do.”

What? You mean to tell me that this is the best response that this negro could give? What the hell did the people of Louisiana elect this weak, spineless bitch to do? His job is, I believe, is to uphold the law in his state correct? His job is supposed to be to punish those who abuse the innocent is it not?

What part of this case was fair and impartial? The uproar that resulted from all this was not about releasing some boy from jail over a crime we all knew he was guilty of. The uproar was because this boy was not granted the same rights his white accusers were granted. It was about Justice for all. The law is supposed to be color blind, but we all know it is not. And for a black man, in one of the most racist states in this country, (past and present) to stand by and let this injustice go by unpunished, when he is in a position to grab his nuts and stop it, is an insult to not only us as a people but to the whole Judicial system in the state of Louisiana. WTF is wrong with this negro?

So Mr. Donald Washington I hereby declare that you are the recipient of my first Major Sell Out Award. I hope you enjoy your short lived status as the first black US Attorney for the State of
Louisiana. Because if the people that voted you in that historic position, has any sense, you will not be around after the next general election.

But I guess you can always go work for the District Attorney of Jena, since it seems you are in his pocket anyway.

We can't win them all

My team got straight stomped Sunday. I usually post something when they win, so I figure it would be kinda hypocritical not to post something when they loose. After all, they are humans, right? They are entitled to lose sometime, right? What team (besides the 1972 Dolphins) have ever went undefeated? So it just would not be right for the Cowboys to beat down every team they play this year. You have to give the little guys some kind of hope, right? I can say that they didn't have to lose so bad though. That was kind of embarrassing. Especially since they were here at home.But any way..... It is only the 6th week. There is still plenty of football to play.

Side Note....

Do not expect a "lets keep hope alive" post every time they loose. I don't like when my team constantly comes in 2nd.

Because everyone knows that 2nd place in anything just means that you are the first person(or team) to lose.

And who likes losing?

How 'Bout them Cowboys!!!!!

Friday, October 12, 2007

The good Wife Guide

This is an article that I ran across while I was surfing the net. Let me make something clear....
I do not agree with everything that is printed here, but I do agree with some of the things here. I will explain later. Anyway I know that the women that read my blog will have some things to say in the comment section, so please do comment.

Keep in mind that this article was written back in 1955. I cannot see my grandmother doing any of this shit. She was a hell raiser. This must have been only in white homes, because I cannot see a sista going along with this. It just goes to show how how different our two cultures are.

So read on and I will add my 2 cents at the end.

The Good Wife's Guide
From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
4.Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dust cloth over the tables.
5. During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
6. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
7. Be happy to see him.
8. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
9. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
10. Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
11. Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
12. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
13. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.

14. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
15. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
16. A good wife always knows her place

Now.... If women were like this in today's world... Damn! Doesn't this sound like the Twilight Zone?

I know I would feel invincible if my wife were even close to being like this. I wonder if women actually were like this in the '50s? I cannot imagine coming home to a woman that followed these guidelines.

The women's Lib people would probably have a heart attack if this was written in 2007. Can you imagine the Talk shows doing a discussion on this subject?

But I guess all Husbands out there in the real world can read this and wish that this was their wife.

Uh Oh. I have to go. Wifey is calling me. Don't tell her I posted this OK? My couch is not as comfortable as my king sized bed.

U feel Me?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

It takes a team

This morning before I made my daily trek to work, I made the mistake of putting some info on my blog that was not correct. I have since realized my mistake and deleted that post.
The mistake I made was that I didn't review my facts before I started typing. Blame it on the lack of sleep or just plain laziness, I don't know.
Anyway, I posted that my team, "America's Team", the Dallas Cowboys, had lost last night. It was a post called "To my Uncle Larry pt 3" yada yada yada.
Well anyway, I turned the T.V. off after my man Romo threw his fourth Interception, because I thought that the game was over at that point. Well, that was my first mistake. I should have fought the ZZZ's and kept watching, but I always have to get up early so I said forget it and went to sleep.
So this morning, after my shower and my daily get my mind right for the everyday bullshit routine, I went straight to my computer, logged in and came here and added my "Uncle Larry" post before I checked the scores. I already assumed that the 'Boys lost, because they were playing very, very poorly, (especially Romo, but hey everyone is entitled to a bad night.) I also anticipated the phone call I would get later on from my Uncle, so I wanted to beat him to the punch. My second Mistake.
Well, I said what I had to say on the post, logged off and proceeded to leave for work. All I heard on the radio was the unheard of before comeback by the Cowboys, and the 53 yard field goal by my man Kin-Folk.
So after work I came straight home logged in and deleted that post.
To my Uncle Larry,
Ha, Ha
I think we are undefeated.... Is it 5-0? And where are your DeadSkins?
C-ya in November!!!!
How 'bout them Cowboys!!!!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Some of my best friends are white....

One of my coworkers and I had a very interesting conversation at work today. I like working with this cat because we talk about any and everything. He is a die hard Republican and I do not give my allegiance to any party. He is a country boy and I was born and raised in the inner city. He is married to a white woman and my wife is a straight up sista. It may sound like we do not have any thing in common, but we do. (Yes this guy is black)

Any way the convo we engaged in today was about race. I told him that the commercials that we see everyday on T.V. are not a real representation of the way things are in America. I told him if you want to find out the real story about race in America, watch all the popular sitcoms. Let me explain....

Almost every commercial that you see on your 50 inch plasma shows someone of African descent kicking it with a bunch of people of European descent. There may be 1 or sometimes 2 minorities (blacks) surrounded by a group of the majority(whites). Everyone in the commercial is laughing and having a good time. I have no problem with that, because we are all Americans, and we should all be represented. However, the commercials put on the illusion that blacks and whites live together, work together and play together, which we do not. They try to paint the picture that here in the good 'ole US of A, we are all one big happy family, which we are not.

I have a couple of white friends, and sometimes I go out and hang with them. I think everyone should have a couple of friends of a different race because it helps bridge the gap between the races. This is how we learn about each other and put an end to all the negative stereotypes that are out there about the races. But even though I have white friends, I know that they do not see the America that I see, and I do not see the America that they see, but that is the subject for another post.

None of my white friends live in my part of Dallas. None of my white friends play in my part of Dallas. The only thing we do is work together. At the end of the day, I get on the interstate going south, and they get on the interstate going north. On the occasion that we decide to hang together we have to meet each other half way.

When we hang out most of the time I am the only black guy surrounded by 1 or 2 white guys. We all get those looks like, what is he doing with them, or what are they doing with him. (from black people and white people) I do not know if they notice it or not, but I do. But I ignore the ignorance, because these guys are cool.

We always end up having a good time together, but at the end of the night, I get on the interstate going south, and they get on the interstate going north. "Peace man. Drive safe. I will see you Monday at the office."

That is nothing like the happy go lucky commercials that you see all day everyday on your 50 inch plasma, huh?

However the sitcoms that come on every night paint a different picture. You have a bunch of whites that only hang with other whites. (If you watch the WB you have a bunch of blacks that only hang with other blacks.) The only time you see anybody of color or anybody white on any of these shows is when the writers want to reinforce the negative stereotypes that we have about each other.

When have you seen anybody black on 2 And a Half Men? When have you seen anybody white on All Of Us?

This is the America I live in.

We are more separated now than we have ever been. But in this day and time it is by choice. People tend to go where they are most comfortable. They tend to do things that they understand. I bet the average white person could not tell me who Pam Grier is and I would bet that the average black person has not sit down and watched a full episode of Friends. I do not live around any white people, my suburban neighborhood of single family homes is mostly black, with a few Hispanics sprinkled here and there. The clubs I go to are majority black, and the restaurants my wife and I go to are majority black.

I live in a color coded country. It is a damn shame, but it is true. I respect my white friends and I like hanging with them sometimes, but I know that we live , work and play in 2 different Americas.

I live in a black America. I play in a black America. I may work in a white America, but I know I am still black in America.

There is no illusion to that.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

The good ole days....Where have they gone?

There is a station called The Rhyme on XM radio that only plays Old School Hip Hop. I love this station because it makes me think about my youth. It amazes me how good a mood this music puts me in. I am a Hip Hop Junkie. I love it.
Let me correct myself.... I love the music I grew up listening to. The garbage that is getting passed off as Hip Hop today I cannot stand. But the music from the late 80's to the late 90's is the shit to me.
Like today for example...
I was listening to The Rhyme on my daily 40 minute commute home from work when LL Cool J's classic song "Radio" started blasting through my speakers. If you are a real Hip Hop head you know what I am talking about. "My radio believe me I like it loud. I'm the man with the box that can rock the crowd. Walking down the street to the hard core beat, while my JVC vibrates the concrete." LL was way ahead of his time.
I was actually transported back to 1986. My head started nodding, and my hand reached for the volume and I blasted it . Even though it was 90 degrees today, I rolled down my windows and was rapping the lyrics like we used to do when I was 16.
Damn that music brings back memories!!
I had no worries then. No bills, no mortgage, no car note(s), nothing. The only thing I really had to worry about was making sure that if I was not in the house, I was at least back on our stoop before the street lights came on.
Of course I had the shell toed Addidas (no shoestrings) with the matching jump suit, the Kango and the fake gold rope. All courtesy of my Moms. Of course I didn't think about it then, but I wish I could go to my Moms now when I need a new pair of shoes or the latest outfit.
Now my routine is getting up at asscrack thirty so I can fight traffic and be at my desk before the sun comes up. Then I have to deal with people that if it were not for the fact that my mortgage is due the beginning of every month, I would tell to go to hell. Then when the sun is beginning to set, I get back in my truck, fight some more traffic, get to my nice suburban hideaway, and try to prepare myself to get up at asscrack thirty the next day, so I can do it all again.
Damn I miss the good ole days!!
Well maybe tomorrow, The Rhyme will play some classic Big Daddy Kane.