Tuesday, April 8, 2008

I am a GROWN-ASS man!!

Lil Wayne has a song that is getting played to death on both of Dallas's Hip-Hop stations called "I'm Me". This is a tight song. Lil Wayne is a lyrical monster. I do not agree with all of the ways that he expresses his self in his music, but I always find myself listening when ever I hear a song that he is featured on.

However...

I would never spend my money on buying any of his music. If I hear it on the radio that's different.I cannot see myself, a 36 year old, GROWN-ASS man going into a music store asking for a CD that was made by a little kid that was born after I graduated from high school, but that is just me and this is just my opinion.

That brings me to the topic of this expression of my "lyrical" skills.

When is a GROWN-ASS man too grown to do the things he used to do?

When do we GROWN-ASS men decide to pass the torch to our sons, nephews and cousins?

I ask this because I see plenty of GROWN-ASS men everyday. I see men my age that are dressed respectable, they are respectful towards women and their elders, and they are raising their kids to be respectful. I also see younger men doing all the above mentioned things.

But on the flip-side, I see GROWN-ASS men, (and let me clarify what I consider a GROWN-ASS man. A GROWN-ASS man is a man over the age of 21), that are still walking around in public with their pants down around their ankles, still wearing corn-rolls in their head, they are always loud and obnoxious in public, every woman they know is a bitch or a hoe, and they are constantly talking to their GROWN-ASS counterparts about how tight the latest Lil Wayne video is, or they are bragging about how good they are at Madden 08.

Now what is wrong with the picture I have just described?

I do not know if this is a cultural thing. I cannot say for a fact that White, Hispanic or Asian GROWN-ASS men do not behave the same way. I can only speak for what I see, and that is black GROWN-ASS men.

It is a damn shame there are some GROWN-ASS men that can name every new rap CD that is about to drop, but if you ask them who their Congress person is or who their senator is, they don't know.

It is a damn shame that there are some GROWN-ASS men that still do not have a checking account.

It is a damn shame that there are some GROWN-ASS men that still think it is cool to hang out in front of the local high school after the final bell rings for the day.

It is a damn shame that there are so many GROWN-ASS men that are still depending on a woman or their mother to provide them with the basic necessities of life.

So again the question, when is a GROWN-ASS man truly GROWN?

11 comments:

David Sullivan said...

Respecting and liking music from someone 20 years (or so) your junior is OK by me. Thats just giving props to the next generation's talents. As far as being a man, like taking care of your shit, is a different story. Hanging out in front of school is for pedophiles. Having a checking account is a necessity. Paying your bills and taking care of your family is being a grown ass man.

That said, sometimes you need to revert to adolecence just to remind yourself what not to do. see my post for an example:

http://sullsblog.blogspot.com/2008/03/top-5-hangovers.html.

truth said...

Interesting post,
In my humble opinion, You become a grown ass man when you can provide for yourself. Depending on a woman or your mother eliminates a person from being grown.

What we are talking about is being accountable, can your family and friends depend on you? Will your family be better off with or without you? If a person cannot be depended upon by those who need him the most, he is not a man. The word for a guy like that is irresponsible.

Stay up, Dirty Red!

tomswanston said...

any 21 year old, any color, that wears a hat backwards, is not a grown ass man...ever...any where...

chocolate_matters said...

You're right on all counts. A grown A** man is not walking down the street with their pants down (which by the way some cities are making it a crime to do) or talking about the latest rap video or video game. I see the same thing here in the northeast. I listen to the radio (sometimes) and it is a shame that these fools call up and get so excited about getting some free tickets to rap concert but can't tell who any of the candidates running for president are or better yet that we are in an election year. Which is more import a ticket to a one night event or deciding who the next president is going to be, someone who helps determine how many jobs your communities will get and how much aid in education your child(ren) receive. It's a crying shame...
Peace.

ZACK said...

First, I need to start subscribing to your posts. That way, I won't find out TWO DAYS LATER that you updated it.

Second, I qualify as a GROWN ASS MAN but I've always carried myself like one, even when I was a GROWN ASS little boy.

All of your points are valid, but relative. At 36, you've seen it all, done it all (done them all) and have a clearer perspective on life. We youngun's (23 and under) are still finding our way.

It doesn't justify the disrespect for women, the lack of personal hygiene, or overall crudeness attributed to our demographic. But it does show that we need our big bros to hold us accountable.

I have FOUR older bros (all in their early to mid 30s) and they act about as mature as me. So, even the big bros need some guidance too.

I say call Bill Cosby. *pause for sarcasm* HE'LL know what to do.

Jazzylady said...

22. That is the age a young man graduates from college and gives up the child life for the adult life. But you know dirty red, it's sad, but we no longer want to correct our young and let them know that what they do is wrong, and that they need to stop acting so childish and enter the adult world. We're bending over backwards for all the wrong reasons until our young people no longer have a back bone at all. Lol. Come see me over the weekend as I'm trying to have a long piece up, and it's all your fault. I'm trying(sigh) to be more thoughtful what I say about your boy. My tongue is all bit up, lol.

Kieya said...

Yea, I'm def not a fan of the cornrows at 35. Thats a problem. As well as the sagging pants e-ve-ry day. uh uh.

hawa said...

Hey Dirty Red!

I had a similar conversation with my fiance. He's 45. I'm 37. But we discussed a different aspect: Why have so many adults forgotten what it was like to enjoy life? In fact, some adults scare our poor kids about the "joys" of growing up.

Some adults are so serious and unhappy that kids see adulthood like a joyless era of back-breaking responsibility.

My fiance is my best friend. We enjoy life like children. We work hard. We love hard. And we enjoy our days. I want my children to look forward to aging from folks who didn't forget to "be as a child."

Hawa from
Fackin Truth Blog

Vee said...

Hello, I always find it interesting to hear different perspectives on the definitions of what constitutes manhood.
This is a cool post and I think it speaks more about the direction of folks.

The rites of passage into manhood in some cultures start as early as 14 - 16.

Being passionate about music while being politically ignorant does not necessarily indicate that some is not responsible. After all its just music, the same argument can be made more empty love songs that fill the airwaves marketed and made by young musicians.
Apathetic maybe, but it simply shows where their interest and direction. And we all know that there are many passive political pundits, so I don't really think political awareness factors in manhood at all.

Now the style of fashion is something else, pants hanging off your behind at any age is ridiculous. While I do not wear baseball caps often, I don't give much thought to some one wearing their hat backwards. Especially while playing an outdoor sport.

I totally agree with you on video games but it is simply another form of media that people enjoy. The same issue can be applied to movies, television and dare I say it, some books. Video games are just another form of escapism. Most of them are very non-productive but its just another people choose to relax and enjoy themselves. With that said, I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM with GROWN-ASS MEN who spend many hours playing video games like GRAND THEFT AUTO or the MADDEN series with their young children.

I understand most of your points, but I'll respectfully disagree with the point on braided cornrows. Prior to the age and time the Allen Iversons, older brothers were wearing cornrows. However, I do not know if it was socially acceptable or frowned upon in the 40's through the 90's**. I've heard the same thing sentiments about wearing locks or and shockingly a short fro.

Check my some-what related post on hair.
http://scritchandscratch.com/blog/?p=418

BTW, personally I think Lil Wayne's flow and phrasing is far better than his actual lyrics. Lyrically he's hit or miss but the flow is wicked.

Rich said...

Good post - I think the Grown-Ass man is alive in every community.

EL PHILTHMOOR said...

GROWN MAN IS WHEN YOU CAN CONSCIOUSLY CARRY YOURSELF IN SOCIETY..YOU CAN CARRY THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF PROVIDING FOR OTHERS..IT DOESNT ENTAIL ALWAYS BEING IN YOUR STACY ADAMS OR SOME TIGHT BANANNA SHIT BUT WHEN YOU DO YOU..SWITCH IT UP PLEAASE BY ALL MEANS KEEP THE SHIT LOOKING CLASSIC ESPECIALLY IF YOU NEAR 40?? CERTAIN ROCAWEAR COOGI AND BLACK LABEL SHIT SHOULD BE OFF LIMITS TO GRANDFATHERS?? REAL TALK, THE CLOTHES SHOULD CAME WITH RATINGS LIKE PG13 NC17 AND SHIT SO NEGROES CAN IDENTIY THEMSELVES BETTER..TAKE THE POSTERCHILD OF GROWN MEN JAY Z-HE SWITHCES IT UP BUT THERES BALANCE?? WEIRDO ONE DAY.ROCAWEAR ONE DAY..WHERES WALDO SCARF SHIT ONE DAY..U KNOW HE KEEPS HIS CLOSET IN ROTATION THATS THE PROTOTYPE NO EXCEPTIONS EVEN IF UR IN THE "INDUSRTY"?? AS FOR THE MUSIC WE SHOULD ALSO BE WELL ROUNDED OL SCHOOL NEGROES NEED TO GO BACK TO THEIR ROOTS AND REPURCHASE SOME RAKIM.EARLY NAS.EARLY WU,,KRS ONE ,,KANE SHIT MIX THAT UP WITH RICK ROSS WEEZY,JEEZY..AND EVERY OTHER CRACK BABY DEMIGOD OUT THERE..GET SOME JAZZ AND WORLD MUSIC ON YOUR RESUME TOO THE GAME IS GLOBAL AND IF YOU DONT KNOW WHO DIZZY GILLEPSIE IS THEY WOONT LET YOU IN FRANCE..U DIGG???