Monday, April 21, 2008

I can take a bite of your candy.... But if you take a bite of mine, I have to throw it away

On my 40 minute commute home from work every afternoon, I listen to the Michael Baisden show. Today's topic was why do people cheat on their significant others.

Well I have an opinion on why men cheat. This is only my opinion, so to all the ladies that read my blog, please keep your comments clean. LOL.

Anyway, here is my two cents.

I think that men cheat on their wife's, fiance's and girlfriends (does a girlfriend that you have not really made a commitment to count?) because they are not happy at home. I believe that if a man is truly satisfied at home he will not go outside his home. The old saying that a man will be a man is bullshit. If a man loves his family,his wife,babies mama or whatever, and she is doing everything that she was doing in the very beginning of the relationship, then her man will not cheat.
He might be tempted, believe me, we do get tempted, but when it comes time to do the do, a picture of his family will pop up in his mind and he will not do it.

Believe me,I have been there and done that.

But the key is that the man has to be SATISFIED.

In all counts.

That means mentally, physically, sexually and all the other "ly's" that constitute a healthy relationship.

If one of the above mentioned "ly's" are missing, then, Houston we have a problem.

No pun intended here, but men ARE just like Dogs.

If you feed and water a dog everyday, that dog will be at your beck and call.
But if you stop watering your dog, then your dog will go next door and quench his thirst. He might come back after drinking his fill to get his kibbles and bits from you, but you best believe that he is getting his water elsewhere.

In order to keep a man, a woman has to do the same things she did to get her man. And vice verse of course.

As to why a woman cheats, I believe that women cheat for pretty much the same reasons. They are not satisfied. But women tend to stick with their main dish for a little longer than we do. A woman will drop hints, and sometimes a woman will be straight up about what she needs her man to do. And if her hints are ignored, then again... Houston we have a problem.

When a woman cheats it is always a last resort. She is fed up, so she does not think about the consequences. She just goes out and does it. But she already knows who she is going to cheat with, all it takes for a man is a warm body and a heartbeat. A woman plans her affairs, a man takes whomever he can get first.

So what does it take to keep our marriages in grade A condition?

Communication,Paying attention to one another, and doing and saying the things you said and done while you were dating.

So there you have it.

Relationship 101 by your man Dirty Red.


Mad Hatter said...

Some men may cheat, if they are not happy at home, some cheat because they the wife pisses them off, some cheat because they have built a relationship with that person from either frequent visits in a store, close work contact, that silent eye covet, and then the opportunity presents itself. A strong man will resist this urge and avoid this kind of desire, that weak &@$*@ will drop his pants quicker than a flash of lighting. We know when a man is cheating we just play along with it.

ZACK said...

Don't cheat on Mrs. Dirty Red! Just kidding. I know that you would NEVER EVER do that to that sista. And that's what makes you alright in my book.

Honestly, though, since I'm not just against gay marriage BUT ALL MARRIAGE...I think people cheat because they aren't done being horny. At 23, I am still looking for the right lady, but in some ways I'm not. I want to do my thang, and then settle down.

So, men really cheat because they are dating/married too early. Plus, testosterone is a dangerous thing. It can make a man do some things he'll always regret for some of that sweet, sweet...."pudding".

David Sullivan said...

Just being strong doesn't cut it. Male female relationships are like dabbling in the stock market. You have to be in for the long term to see the fruits of your labor. In the short term there are wild fluctuations that can make or break you if you don't stick it out. Buying when things are low is the key, meaning, when things are at their lowest in the relationship is when you make the most gains. You never know how much you love each other 'till things are totally fucked and you are brutally honest with each other.

Just being a "strong man" is a fairy tale that women need to stop believing in like Prince Charming and Santa Claus. You are right Red, if men are treated right they and the relationship is healthy then they will have no reason to stray.

And ladies...don't use sex as a tool or withhold affection to gain some power in the marriage because that will cause more resentment than you know and your man will fuck the first woman that gives him the time of day.

Now I need to go for my nightly walk, belly rub and bowl of Kibble 'N Bits, ruff!

ZACK said...

No offense, B, but you missed the whole point of my post about Black Men. It was almost like you didn't read it thoroughly.

Jazzylady said...

The one thing you really forgot to say more strongly dirty is that if men don't do the same things it took to get that sister then eventually he's going to lose her. Love and showing love are a life long investment, or should be. All to often men forget how to woo a woman after he's got her, then he expects her do her duty joyfully when he acts as if he's pumping a loaf of bread, lol.

brran1 said...

Communication is key. You have to let your partner know what you want and how you want it because like 99% of other dudes out there, I am NOT a mind reader. Intellegent, Yes. Ms. Cleo, No. On top of that, I think most guys in relationships cheat (although i think someone mentioned this before) because they weren't ready to settle down in the first place. And it also is true that some people just aren't meant to settle. That's like tryna fit a circle peg into a square hold. In some case you may be able to mash it in after constant bashing. But on the other hand, once a circle peg, always a circle peg.

jjbrock said...

Red in my opinion there is no excuse for cheating just tell the truth, when we stray from the marriage bed it is by choice.

ZACK said...

E-mail me because this debate about my post ain't over! LOL!

Plus, it must been wack because nobody commented on it.

I think people are tired of me complaining about my life on my blog, so I'm gonna shift the focus back to celebrities. But the problem is, there's nothing going on in the news right now except killing, earthquakes, and gas prices. I ain't bloggin' about that crap.

But e-mail me...this conversation must continue in private. (And delete this comment once you read it)

P.S. No, I don't play pool either. So does that make a girl now?

Kei's Revelation said...

A strong relationship is build upon respect, value, trust, and good old "communication." Many problems begin when a man and woman stop "talking" to each other. A brush off or cold shoulder never gets either party anywhere. And honestly, as a female, I feel it's important that we all work hard to keep a relationship healthy. A woman can cheat as quickly as a man and vice versa. ALL should do their part and a man does not deserve a "well, I'm a man, ain't I?" card everytime he does something to break his women's heart. Nonetheless, I enjoyed this piece and I'm glad you shared your thoughts on this matter.