Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Tribute to Charles King

This post is a little late because I had to get my mind right before I wrote it.

This past weekend was Father's Day weekend. This Holiday never really meant much to me because I did not have a real conversation with my father until I was 28 years old.

He was never around.
It was not all on him though. My Mom and my Father never had a healthy relationship. I must admit that he did try to be active in my life over my younger years, but my Mom always blocked him. So to be blunt, my Mom denied me the joy of having a Father. So my Pops was not a dead-beat Dad per-say, he just didn't have the balls to stand up to my Mother.

I finally grew a set of balls of my own and contacted him through one of my Aunty's and I flew out to North Carolina to see him. The resemblance was striking. The only difference was that I am about 2 inches taller than him. After that initial get together, we talked on the phone all the time and whenever I could, I would fly out to North Cacalac to see him.

He was a cool dude.

A lot like me.

My father died from complications from diabetes late last year.

The pain of that is still... well it hurts.

Like Hell.

I miss my father terribly. I tried to cram 28 years into the past 6 or 7, and I don't think I did it. He never let on how sick he was. He never told me anything about his illness. Every time we talked he was always up-beat and laughing, and threatening to disown me if I did not hurry up and give him a grandson.

After 28 years of not having a father in my life, I finally had a Father and a friend.

Charles King was my Father.

Charles King was my Homie.

Charles King was my Dude.

He never got to see his grand-child since I have not had a child yet,(I think I am the oldest living straight Black-Man in America with no kids. But Wifey and I are still trying.)
I have to be a father.Even if we have to adopt, I WILL get the satisfaction of knowing that I had a positive impact on a child's life.

So this is to all the Charles Kings in America. He was living proof that not all Black Men leave their children.

He maybe showed up late in my life, but he was right on time.


RANDY said...

I am sorry about your loss. May God help you stay strong.

Jazzylady said...

I had my own dad until I was fifteen but it wasn't enough, it never is.

Kieya said...

I so sorry for that. My mom met her dad for the first time a few years ago. It had been rocky for awhile but they got over it & she flew to England to see him. He was also diabetic & on dialysis. But she had the time of her life. He died a few weeks later. You got the chance to get to know him...maybe not as much or as long as you wanted but you have something to pass on when you do have your children.

truth said...

Dirty Red,
Sorry for your loss, brother.

ZACK said...

This is a heartfelt post. I am glad that you waited, my man.

Here's a little consolation:

My father and stepfather are both GREAT men. However, I never had a strong relationship with either of them growing up. Why? Because as I've written on my blog, I've always been a strange young man. I wasn't athletic (neither were they), but I didn't know how to do guy things. And my attention span was so short, they couldn't show me the things they knew.

Actually, my stepfather IS and always was a better dad than my father. But even he and I had problems bonding. So, it is possible to have 2 father figures and 4 older brothers (in my case), and still have no real male role model. All I'm saying is- Don't Feel Alone, Bruh.

Lastly, as for the baby-making quest: This is a challenging thing for most couples. You want God to give you the biggest gift of all. But be comforted in the fact that he will allow it when he feels you are ready. You might be ready by your own assessment, but God will give you that desire in HIS time.

Be encouraged and know that I am proud of the man you've shown yourself to be on this blog. Everybody who knows you is a lucky person, and most importantly, your dad was more than lucky- he was BLESSED to have a son like you.