Monday, November 24, 2008

Fine as Frog Hair

My man Zack wrote a post last week talking about how he thinks women do not find him attractive. Zack is a very good writer, and if none of yall have checked him out before, show my little brah some love. You will not be disappointed.

The only thing about my man is that he is a little bit too honest at times. He tells some things about himself that frankly I would not ever mention in public, let alone on a blog that hundreds or perhaps thousands of people see.

But I guess that is why he is such a good writer.


Zack asked his loyal readers a question.

What does it feel like to be considered good-looking?

I answered in the comment section, that "Swagger" and confidence are what make a person attractive.

In my opinion Zack has both of these qualities for the simple fact of how honest he is on his blog. It takes swag and confidence to talk about his faults and his dislikes the way he does.

I could never do that. I talk about myself a little bit here, but there are certain things that I will not divulge.

Not that I am scared or anything....
Well maybe I am scared.....

It is just that you never know who or what is reading this.

So what does make a person attractive?

Is it looks?

Or could it be money?

Or am I right, and it is confidence?

Because if it is confidence, why is my man Zack having such a rough time finding a woman?

I can't answer that.

Women say at least a thousand times a day about how there are no good (black) men left, yet there is one named Zack that says he can't get the time of day.

Go figure.


ZACK said...

Brother, we shall have a more in-depth conversation via e-mail. But allow me to write some things to make sure your readers don't refer me to a "white jacket" facility. :)

I don't consider myself attractive physically, but more sociably. I don't think I'll ever look in the mirror and see a nice looking guy. But I do see a damn good man when I look in that same mirror. Whether women care about that doesn't matter to me. What matters is how I use my platform to help others.

While most have tried to judge me or ridicule me for being candid on my blog post, who gives a shit? It's about exposing the things that people like to keep swept under the rug.

But I appreciate your thoughts more than words can say. Thank you kind sir!

David Sullivan said...

DR, are you sure you're not really a PIMP, trying to sell us on good ole Zack. I mean, I've got a friend whose ex profession was pimpin' and he would tell me stories about talking up his nastiest ho's so dudes would be like "I guess I can overlook that hairlip and those sores cause Timmy says it'll be the best shit I ever got". Zack will be OK once he stops putting that "pussy on a pedastle" (40 Year Old Virgin, the movie, not Zack)

ZACK said...

Dave, you missed me on that one buddy. Maybe it's because I'm a little sensitive. What do you mean by: "...trying to sell us on good ole Zack?" and then comparing me to a nasty ho?

I appreciate that he cared enough to dedicated a post to me. But I'm not sure I appreciate what you wrote.

It's not about putting anything on pedestal. It's about me expressing how women treat ME and other men like me. There are some men who will never know a woman physically because they have it worst than I do. But I feel that whether they get laid or not, it should be about their character. However, our society is more obsessed with looks from the outside, rather than outlooks on the inside.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't trying to hurt my feelings. But those benefits are starting to dry up like 401 K plans. Watch it buddy! ;) (Just kidding)

But don't add to my bad feelings, please kind sir.

David Sullivan said...

Nothing on you Zack. If anything you are selling yourself short like my friends former ho's (that was where I was going with that).

DR is making the point that a good man like you shouldn't worry about what he looks like, but how he acts and I agree with him.

My comment was more about DR's skills, talking you up, but you don't need talking up. I read you and you've got your shit together. Didn't mean to insult you, if anything I should be chastising DR for talking you up. You don't need it.


Anyhow...I doubt you've got a hairlip and sores...

Kofi Bofah said...

Swagger is about knowing that you will emerge victorious amidst the darkest of moments.

Folk said...

Confidence is the king when it coms to attractiveness. This girl I dated in college was possibly a 6-7 in the looks department, solid 8 in the body department, but a total 10 in the air of sexiness she oozed. I thought I was totally out of her league but I stepped up to her and she let a brother in. That taught me quickly that looks don't mean ish, cause Folk ain't no Denzel Washington. But confidence (not to be confused with arrogance or cockiness, is key.

Damon Harris said...

There is somebody out there for everyone. Just watch a Maury episode and my point will be validated. I believe swag, confidence, money and power all come in to play. But I also think that people come in to our lives when we let them. As for the pimp analogy, Chicken George was the ultimate pimp.Even as a slave he had all the honey's.

ZACK said...

Folk, maybe that vacation didn't do you good because you're not as kind as you used to be. I'm just kidding.

Why would you be rating the girls looks anyway? I wouldn't want a cat like you devaluing my mother or my sister, so I take offense to that example. But to each his own...bottle of vaseline and dirty movie cassette, if he doesn't get with the program.

I understand what everybody is saying, but I guess men have a very callous, insensitive way of viewing the world. And that's great. It's part of having testosterone. But on the other hand, it hurts our brotherhood. You all keep making me feel like the loser in the group and I don't like it one bit.

Try to challenge my manhood and you'll see what happens. Yup! I will run away!

David Sullivan said...

Chicken George!!! He,he...thats straight comedy!!

Zack. you gotta lighten up. You are no more a loser than the rest of us.

truth said...

There's nothing wrong with you! Not to disregard your feelings, but I feel some of your troubles with women does have to do with your lack of self confidence.

There are many women who are overly interested in the physical appearance of a man. To be fair, we all pay attention to what one another looks like. If you were in a unfamiliar neighborhood and lost, who would you ask for directions, the man who looked liked a bum or a man in a business suit?

But that isn't your point or the real trouble with you. I don't believe the issue is how you look. You've got a lot of responses from women on your blog telling you the same thing. Listen to those responses, they have no reason to lie to you. Along with that, even taking the physical issue into account, there are many women who are not that invested in what a man looks like. Women are susceptible to what they hear, Men generally focus on looks a little bit more than women.

God bless Zack,hopefully one day you find what you're missing.

Eb the Celeb said...

I love Zach to death... he is an amazing writer...and I love how honest he is whether I agree with it or not... but to me.. .when I read it and he talks about himself... it IS lack of confidence... No woman wants a man that is insecure and if you are, you feed that energy before you even get a chance to start a conversation.

He said in his comment here that he doesnt find himself attractive, so if you dont see something in yourself, how can you expect others to see it in you.

I want to know how he got to this point... Does he go out and approach women, if so what is his approach like...

Based on his comment reply to Folk he is living in a fantasy world where looks dont matter... the fact of the matter is they do.. this country was built on that and its never going to change... so you have to embrace what God has blessed you with and work it. Yeah it would be a better world if people were only judged on character but its not... so get over it. There is someone for everyone... so just spend your days working on yourself rather than working on whether or not you will ever find a chick that finds you attractive.

I have a friend that sets his standards way too high... He has an OK job and he isnt the best looking dude in the bunch but is always going after the model chick, the baddest chick in the spot... and then he says their acting stuck up. No they aren't acting stuck up. Just like he has standards and wants to have the baddest looking chick on his arm... they have standards too and you aren't it for them.

I could write a book about this subject but I will stop there.

ZACK said...

Hey y'all. Let me get to Eb first,

I think that your problem is that looks matter too much to you. You're not married yet either but for a different reason. I think even the better looking guys want a girl to love them for who they are. I guess that's the ONLY downside of being good looking.

Case in point, women just love TJ Holmes from CNN. But not because of his reporting ability. They like him because he's light skinned with funny colored eyes. And that's cool, but I'm sure his wife liked something more than his looks- YUP, his bank account.

But Eb, I'm not trying to get women to see that I'm ugly. I'm trying to get others to see that women FIND ME UGLY. There's a difference. I'm not adding to the problem, I'm just reporting it.

And Truth,

It's not about confidence or self esteem. It's about trying to enjoy life considering how cruel our world is.