Thursday, June 18, 2009

Fools fall in Love just like everybody else

I have a friend that just separated from his wife of 4 years.

He has 1 daughter by her and he is step-father to her daughter from a previous sperm doner.

Everybody that knows this dude told him not to marry this chick, but he followed his heart and well, here he is 4 years later.

I am not saying she is a bad woman, I only know what he tells me about her. But I also know that there are two sides to everything.

All I am saying is that she was/is bad for him.

Check it....
He was cheating with her when he was married to his first wife, who by the way was a good woman.
The only reason he got caught was because the jump-off called his wife while he was going home after a night with her, and told his wife to smell his dick when he got home and to call her back to let her know how her pussy smelled.

So as you can guess, that pretty much ended his first marriage.

Well about a year later he surprised all of us with the news that he married his jump-off.

Shit has been bad for him every since.

He has caught 3 cases for domestic violence, even though according to him, (like I said there are two sides to everything)the only thing he has ever done to her was slam her down on the bed to get her off of him.

He has lost 4 good paying jobs because his drama at home leaked over into his jobs.

He was diagnosed with diabetes,high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and his Kidneys recently failed forcing him to have to be put on dialysis.

And now that he is at his worst financially, mentally and health wise, what does she do?

She leaves him, does not tell him where she is living because she is 'afraid for her safety' and at the recent child support hearing, she hits him in the head for $600 a month.

There is a good thing that has came about during this time though, he has dedicated his live to God and he is know studying to be a minister.

But here is the kicker....

He is still trying to make it work.

The court mandated counseling before the divorce can be finalized and he is like a school boy at recess at the opportunity to try to prove that he can still be a good husband to her.

He told me yesterday that they went out on a date, which he paid for,went to a semi expensive restaurant, which he paid for, got a Hotel room, which he paid for, and at the end of the night he gave her some money to wash clothes and to get gas so she can go to her part time job.

She did all this, but he still does not know where she is living with his daughters because she still 'fears for her safety' when she is alone with him.

He told me that if the counseling sessions go well, he will drop the divorce proceedings.

All I could do was shake my head in wonder and be like how much pain and heartbreak can a person endure for love?

Me and my wife have our typical marriage life problems, but this shit here.....


That is my mans and all and I will support him no matter what, but to me he is a damn fool.

What say you?


Walt Bennett said...

I say that too many men, yes men, confuse love with lust. They do much thinking from the waist down.

The logical mind would clearly conclude "Get out while you can!" but this all started with him wanting the pootie, and my guess is that it still drives him, so to speak.

When he gets older and his testosterone dies down, he may become capable of rational thinking.

cinque said...

Where are all of the comments when a man is taking in the heart??? Typical. Addiction to pain(emotional pain) is very real. Your friend like most people lacks relationship self esteem and thinks he deserves the pain this woman is putting him through. Not to mention religion tells you you must go through the fire to come out whole and he may see this relationship as a test of faith. In any case he should at least give this some time before jumping back in.

Mr. Cautious said...

Well, this brother has some serious issues all that tend to be related to his, use to be "jump off."
My advice to you as his friend, is to stick by him, because if he keeps on this same track of pursuing this woman and making it work, believe it or not the worst is yet to come. He is showing signs of obvious emotional damage and probably wants the relationship to work because he either don't want to look like a fool or is afraid to be lonely. I know of a guy who was in a similar situation and it took a major accident in which he (his body) was hit by a vehicle traveling at a speed of 70mph.
There were a lot of people, who thought this guy wouldn't make it as he lied in a hospital bed and went to rehab to gain movement in damage body parts, it gave him time to think. One night, he had a vision from God, and God said, "I tried to reveal some things to you, but you were moving so fast in life that you missed them, now, you have no choice but to listen." As he stared at the ceiling above his bed, his life up to his current situation began to play out, he saw things, warnings, friends who were really enemies and it went on an on. When the revelation was over, the man cried at all that he had missed and how it could have saved his social life and led to a better emotional state.
Your friend is now headed down that same road, the warning signs are there, but he is not seeing them. Stay by your friend, he really needs you.

MoMo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MoMo said...

I am a firm believer in you starting as you mean to go on. And because of this, you get whats coming to you. That being said, he did wrong on the 1st wife and its downhill from then on. let that be the reason.....

Anonymous said...

He's a damned fool. said...

Hey there!

I just read this drama and I am shaking my head... yes... he is clearly in love...

I should mention that $600 is HARDLY a huge amount for child support... heck... it costs me $300 for a salon visit just to get my hair looking Diana Ross fabulous!

So the $600 for two children is merely bread crumbs on the table as far as I am concerned. Last I heard, daycare costs are up to $200 per week in most major cities!

Hmmm.... $200 a week day care, food, shelter, clothing, insurance... yep $600 is a bargain my friend!

Pray for your homie.

Clearly he has many issues of enablement and low self worth.

Nakia, a Social Butterfly said...

everybody plays the fool... sometime. every dog has his day.... and every doggette, well she will get hers too... i'm just hoping the people they run across next, will be able to dodge this drama..

Mack Lyons said...

It's easy to say he's a glutton for punishment, but that's not the case. It's easy for a person to hold on to something and not want to let it go for many reasons. Problem is the person he's holding on to does not want anything to do with him, and he doesn't see that. It may be the surrounding whirlwind of drama and personal issues that are clouding up his vision, so I'm afraid it's gonna take some event (as Mr. Cautions pointed out for his friend) that completely puts him out of commission, so to speak, and gives him a time-out moment to just sit there and CONTEMPLATE. He needs time to THINK. And as it dawns on him the various signals and signs he didn't see thanks to the surrounding drama and his own tunnel vision, he'll hopefully come to a conclusion that helps him save what's left of his health and sanity.