Thursday, November 12, 2009

How low can you go?

I am so sick of hearing about Chris Brown and Rihanna.

I am also sick of hearing WOMEN talk about how Rihanna just needs to forgive and forget.

No she doesn't. Forgive maybe... But forget.... Never.

I am very surprised that this kind of talk is coming from other WOMEN.

This man (little boy)beat this woman like he owned her.

Of all people, I would have thought that other women would have had her back.
But that is not how women these days roll.

They are blaming the victim instead of blaming the attacker.
I don't care what she did to provoke this kid.
No one deserves to be beaten like she was beaten.

Now don't get get wrong, I am the type of dude that, if a woman slaps me, I am going to slap her back.

Yeah I said it.

If a woman's nuts are big enough to where she thinks that she can put her hands all up side my face, if she thinks that she is strong enough to disrespect me like that, then well....

There will be two people in jail that day.

But a man BEATING a woman like Chris Brown beat Rihanna, is wrong ass wrong.

Me personally I could never beat a woman down like she was a dude I was fighting in the street. Especially one I so called "loved". I WILL let a woman know that I ain't the one to fuck with like that though. If I treat you with respect and dignity, then I expect the same thing back. I will never punch a woman the way I would punch a dude. But I will punch a dude that punches a woman like he would punch a dude. There are some things that a man just should not do, if he considers himself a man that is. Beating down a woman should be at the top of that list.

For the life of me I do not understand how WOMEN could fix their mouths to say that Rihanna should just go about her life like nothing ever happened.

All I can think is what if that were their daughter....niece....cousin... or girlfriend, would the "She just needs to sit down and shut up" still apply?

In my opinion Chris Brown is a little bitch. He is a little boy that is blaming his father's actions for his own.

If Rihanna was someone that was near and dear to me, there is nothing that this little man-boy could say to me that could make up for what he did.

But I guess that there are a lot of women in our communities that believe that bullshit about'there are no good men left.' There are a lot of women that believe that a piece of a man is better than no man.

I think that it is a damn shame that we as a people have sunk so low.


Mail said...

The majority of women I have talk to are on Chris side. These same women our also single mother and from my knowledge have never had a real relationship with a man. It's a common belief that the man is always right. I believe some women think this behavior is ok because they don't know any good man. It's common to be a single mother raised by a single mother in our community so it makes perfect sense to me. I don't believe this belief is going anywhere anytime soon. said...

Hi there,

I engage with many, many fatherless black women online every day (on my blog and in email). Most of them were "conditioned" to tolerate disrespect, mistreatment and violence. I'm serious...

Their tolerance level for disrespect is shocking!!

Many were raped by their mother's trifling boyfriends - who only expressed an interest in living with Mama when they saw the big-booty teenager. There are women who don't realize that predators choose them just to have access to their own daughters!

In my post, on chivalry a few weeks ago, many women were saying that they had never experienced what I am talking about... a man opening doors...a man being a gentleman...a man being protective....

Fatherlessness and black male abdication has resulted in a generation (or two!) of black women with a very warped view of black male/black female dynamics.

And what are we going to do in order to address that? You are certainly welcome to do a guest column at my blog one day and seriously examine this conditioning and offer insights on how to dismantle it.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Maybe your readers don't want to hurt your feelings, but slapping a woman back is rarely equal in force. A man's hands are generally larger and stronger. Why not just tell her if she ever does it again, the two of you are through? Or if you're not into second chances, break up right then and there. Isn't that what you'd suggest a woman to do? Men shouldn't tolerate it either. A woman who slaps her man in the face will probably slap their kids in the face too. Face slaps are particularly humiliating, much more so that spankings on the behind.

And say a girlfriend she slaps a man and he slap her back as you say? Then what? It wouldn't surprise me if that's how Chris & Rihanna descended into their own nightmare, although she's never admitted hitting him. I wouldn't outrule it though because as a couple, they were so in love, but also very possessive of each other.

As for the young girls defending Chris's actions, it pathetic. I haven't read enough celebrity blogs to get a feel if it's pervasive or just a minority. Hope it's the latter.

Dirty Red said...

I don't understand how women can be on the abuser's side. I just don't get it. I refuse to believe that some of these women had no positive men in their live to show them how a man is supposed t be.

Thank's for the invite. I would be honored to be a guest on your site. I am humbled just by your invitation. My solution is probably one that you have heard thousands of times... Hold these boys accountable for their actions and stop making excuses for them.But I guess that is easier said than done.

I agree with every thing you said. Would I be wrong for slapping a Woman back if she slapped me first?
Yes, I most definitely would be. Would she be wrong for slapping me? Yes, she would be. Have I ever put my hands in a woman's face? No I have not. But I know my temperament. I will (and have) try to walk away from whatever it is that might cause a woman to attempt to slap me before it even starts. I ain't the one to stand around and argue. Walking away is always the better choice, but saying it and doing it is two totally different things. I just hope that I never get put in that situation.

Mail said...

I feel that a positive influence needs to start with the parents. You have to see your daddy treat your mother with respect to understand how a man is supposed to treat a lady. It is not common to actually be married in the black community. On top of all of that people start having kids way too early. A baby cannot raise a baby. How do you think a single mother is going to teach her child how to meet a good mate when she could never find one? Even if she has good advice to give her child it won't even matter. You can only lead by example words really don't matter.

Traci Lavette said...

@ Mail,

What I will say is that I am from a single parent, female-headed household and it didn't cause me or my sister to be strangers to "real relationships...with good men".

I was hit by a man once. After we finished fighting like two dudes, in my Mama's house, he was told to leave and I never dealt with his ass again. I won't tolerate a man putting his hands on me because that is not his place. Likewise, I will not put my hand on a man because if it comes to that, we are clearly toxic for one another and I pride myself on making better choices than that.

Finally, I don't believe that any woman thinks the behavior is "okay" as you put it - whether from a single headed household or not. I think it's all in how much worth a woman has, her level of fear for this man, and whether she feels she has somewhere to go that is external to the life she has with that 'man'.

Mavis said...

@ Traci Lavette
There is always exceptions to the rules. From experience coming up in a single parent household makes it really hard. It will always be women who can raise their kids on their own. There is a God. Naturally women can do anything if they want to. But don't think for one second that these women that our having babies every 9 months by themselves our raising them. I'm just going by what I know and have seen in the people around me. I don't know everybody situation. I know I sound crazy by saying some women think it okay to be hit but it's true. I don't believe that but I know real people who do and it is what it is. I've heard it with my own ears! I've experience getting into fights with men and no female coming to my defense. I'm not talking about women that have been hit because their a victim. The women I'm talking about our women that take the side of the man when he hits a woman because they think it's the price you have to pay for love. There is no price for love! I would never put down a women for raising her kids by herself. Life happens. But from my own experience more times than not a single parent household turns out to be a bad thing.