Thursday, May 20, 2010

Aloha, Majalo and all that other exotic shit.....

I have been in Honolulu, Hawaii for the past week and a half.

I have noticed a few things in my short time here. Things that were not too surprising to me, but I still find them kinda fucked up.

1. There are a lot of homeless ass beach bums here. I mean a lot. And they sleep any damn where they get tired. Now if a person has to be homeless, Hawaii is not a bad place to be homeless at. The weather is perfect, humid as all hell, but still nice. There are free showers on the beach and if you get hungry, just throw a fishing pole in the ocean, or climb a coconut tree. The first morning we were here we were woken up at 0530, (that's 5 damn 30 in the morning for all you non-military people) to do PT. Well, the only place we can do PT is on the beach, so that is where we went. We get down to the spot that was prearranged for us and we were told that we could not get to loud because of the beach bums asleep on the damn beach. That's right folks, the damn beach was full of sleeping bags, shopping carts and blankets of people that were still sleeping. There was whole families... Moms, Pops, Jr, Junette, and Fido. I shit you not. It shocked the hell out of me. But we were careful to not disturb them though, I guess 0530 is too damn early even for beach Bums.

2. The average price for shit we take for granted back on the mainland has been jacked up 25 to 30% over here. At Mcdonald's for instance, there is no dollar menu, even though all the commercials over here still advertise the shit. My usual, the #1, was 10 fucking dollars! Everything over this bitch is higher than giraffe pussy. I am coming to understand why there are so many homeless people here.

3. The water is cold, even if the temperature is hot. I mean it is not freezing cold, but compared to the Caribbean, it might as well be. When I went to St. Thomas 2 years ago with the wifey, that water was marvelous. This shit here.... Not so much.

4. White people stay all day in the sun and bake, and then complain the next day about being burnt. I know what you are thinking..... Red, you did not have to go fly 5 thousand miles to find that shit out.... Yeah I know. It just still perplexes the hell out of me why in the humid ass Honolulu hell white people lay out in the sun until they damn near cook themselves from the inside out and then have the nerve to fix their mouths to complain about it. Go figure....

5. Hawaii is nice and all, but this shit is only good for about a week. After that I am ready to fly the 8 hours back to the Big D. All this shit is overrated. It is too damn expensive, too damn crowded and I can get the same damn excitement about seeing thongs and bare naked titties back on the beaches I grew up going to without the long ass long long flight.

It's too damn bad I have to be here for another 12 damn days.

Oh well I could have been sent somewhere worse....

Like Afghanistan.


Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Red, The humidity was hardest to get used to when I visited 20 years ago, but I don't remember the beach water being too cold, nope, not at all.

Since you'll be there another 12 days, check out the Hawaiian museum. I was amazed that the original Hawaiians looked just like Africans, I kid you not. And if you want a great book to read at beach, pool, or at night, that combines fiction with historical fact, pick up Hawaii, by James Michener. Oh man, he gets all into the shit they went through, similar to African Americans.

MangoButtahQueen said...

Hey! You visited my former home state!

The Museum Kit is referring to is Bishop Museum..

I moved from Hawaii (5 years ago in June) to where I'm at now because of the cost of living and quality of life as a result. I had lived there off and on for 30 years.

It's a beautiful place full of history (not all in the US school history books either as usual). The homeless problem has gotten much worse since I left due to the real estate bubble that started just before I left there. Housing prices and rents skyrocketed to the point that even working class families could not afford a place to live.

Those that can afford to live there do it to the cost of having 2-3 jobs just to make ends meet. If you think McDonalds was pricey, try plain ol' grocery shopping. I was spending $150.00 a week.

Redbonegirl97 said...

Dayum, I guess when I go I will stay in my resort area.

Peace, Love and Chocolate

Ms. Camile said...

Well dang! When I read "Honolulu" I expected to hear great things, pretty things, wondrous things. But I'm glad for this reality check. Sometimes I say I want to just get away and Honolulu isn't on the list but this just proves that there are problems everywhere! Eeeeeverywhere. That mess sucks, especially the homeless people. Wow....sad. Smh.


Lola Gets said...

Well, I knew how expensive it was, so the homeless rate doesnt surprise me. Now quit yer bitchin' and try to enjoy your visit, dammit!

You know, some Negroes have never been to Hawaii before, so count yourself lucky, lol.


CareyCarey said...

Well Red, at least they haven't called you their slang word for a black man.

Kit, if you think Hawaii is humid, don't go to Guam. It's muggy-er, humid, and 5 hours to the west.

But Red, why you cappin' on the po' people? :-)

Reggie said...

You know, I have a friend who lives there that absolutely loves the place. Of course, she's a native and she wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

I've always been put off by the length of the trip, but I'm sure it's a beautiful place. If I do ever go, I won't be eating at McDonalds. I think I'd rather have at the local fare.

.....giraffe pussy, yeah that's gotta be high!!!

Dirty Red said...

Thank's for the suggestion. I don't know what it is about you, but your comments always put me in a better mood, whether you agree with me not. I guess you just got that mojo over me. Lol. The water over here is not freezing cold, it still feels good after a hard day of working n the roof of the Army meseuem, (we are over here to build two extra wings to it)but compared to the Caribbean, it is cold.
Mango Queen,
I can understand why you moved,lol. This place is crazy expensive. But don't get me wrong, it is beautiful as hell. We ran to the top of Diamond Head, well... correction... I attempted to run to the top of Diamond Head,but once I finally made it to the top, the view was beyond words...

Red Boned Girl,
Do not stay in your resort area.... There is a lot to see over here. Don't get this post twisted.... It is expensive and the Homeless people are everywhere, but you cannot beat the experience.

Ms. C,
Yeah it kinda surprised me too. I was expecting grass hulu skirts and fine women everywhere. Until I realized that this is just another typical big city in America. I could put DC in the middle of the Pacific, surround it with beautiful beaches and wala! I just made a new Honolulu. Minus the Black people of course... Instead of Chocolate city it would be Caramel city splashed with a lot of Vanilla.

I know I know Boo. Believe me I am blessed to be here. I wake up every morning, go down to the beach for my normal run and be like damn! If my boys back home could see me now! So yeah, I hear you ma.

I don't even want to know what they call us over here. I have noticed that since I have been here, especially when I am walking around downtown Honolulu, I get more looks from the white women than the natives. The white women are cutting hard for a brother, but the natives and Asians always seem kinda distant.

Yep shit over here is very high. I have sampled some of the local far, they love Spam over here for some reason, but I still fend like a crack head for Mickey D's fries. I swear before Pookie and Nino Brown that Mcdonalds put something besides vegetable grease in those things!

Alee said...

lol @ this whole post

truth said...

Good post,

I was a bit surprised to when I went there for the first time not too long ago. I expected to see more wealth, instead like you I saw more poverty than anything else.

When I talked to some of the locals, they all said the same thing, it was too expensive too live there. One of the cats there said it cost $500,000 just for one bedroom house and that's not in a good side of town.

Make you sure hit up, Iolani palace, Aloha tower and Roy's hawaiian fusion restaurant right across from the ocean.

智能 said...


BlkBond said...

Just found your blog. Good stuff. I'll be back.


Dope Fiend said...

AHAHAHAHA lol you're funny, i loved this whole damn post. nice blog.

Nishant said...

it's a beautiful place
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