Monday, July 26, 2010

The games Men play

When I joined my "fraternity", there was a lot of shit I did that I told myself that I would never do.
I went through a lot of what most people would call "hazing".
I didn't consider  it hazing, I just thought that it was what I had to do to get where I wanted to be.

I cannot give specifics about what I had to do and what I had done to me, because I took a vow of secrecy, but if you really want to know about the path to enlightenment; just like my side-bar says; "To B 1 ASK 1".

As I was going through the higher degrees of my "fraternity", There was some shit that I just was not having.

During one phase I actually fought back. I made it worse for myself and I suffered for days afterward, but after I "walked those 40 miles", my brothers told me that I gained their respect more than the other members of my "cable-tow" that took the "hazing" with no complaint. They told me I showed exactly what becoming a MM really meant. The first thing that is taught to a candidate before you can even be considered to join is you have to be a man of good moral standing and fortitude.
You have to be a MAN, in other words you have to behave and carry yourself as a man does. There is only so far that you can push a man, before he lets you know that he won't be pushed anymore. My brothers told me that I demonstrated this and as the degrees kept coming, I was rewarded.

That is why I do not fault Dallas Cowboy's rookie Wide Receiver Dez Bryant for not carrying another grown man's equipment like he was a damn bus-boy. While it is true that he is a rookie and there are certain things that a rookie is supposed to do, demeaning yourself should not be one of them. I understand that rookies all go through some sort of "hazing", it is expected, but sometimes if you are a man who is sure of himself, there are certain things that your "manhood" will not allow you to do.

Some people will say that the boy was wrong, and he is a rookie so he has to make his bones and who does this young punk think he is and some veterans in the league will say that they had to go through it when they were rookies; so why shouldn't he and blah blah blah.

Well I can't disagree with none of that. But if this dude did not feel like he had to cater to the dude he might  (and should) be replacing, then why should he?

I am sure that because this Kid broke the NFL's normal unwritten rule for rookies, he has painted a big target on his back. He will be watched and criticized more closely now than ever before. I am sure that he will have to accept some sort of hazing with no complaint, he is going to pay for that little bit of cockiness and arrogance, but I bet he has gained the respect of the other rookies and some of the veteran players by standing up and saying,  'I am a man damn it! Treat me as such."

And for that I ain't mad at him.


Redbonegirl97 said...

I always cracking up at the hazing rituals that men do. I am always amazed at those that are willing to tell everyone what they had to endure.

Peace, Love and Chocolate

Reggie said...

When I was an undergrad Spike Lee's joint "School Daze" came out. I went with a group of my boys; and to be honest, we were like "da fellas" in School Daze. I wasn't down with the whole fraternity thing, but they winded up as Kappas; as well as, Masons.

I listened to sports radio today and they took that brother to task for not carrying his teammates pads. It's funny whats actually called news these days.

Jonesy said...

great post. I feel like they have hazing everyone. Frats n Soros but also work too! sometimes your boss puts you through it just to see how u make it out. I survived a situation like that lol

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

If truth be told,the hazing done by frats and soros is mild,compared to the boot camp at Paris Island of 1970's I experienced.
But if thats what it take to move some people to man or woman hood so be it!

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glowing soul said...

I really feel you brotha. As a black female, I feel more socially privillaged than my dark skined brothas to never stress over hypermasculine behavior. I had my own small account of youthful hazing back in my marching band days,but nothing degrading. Despite a persons race,gender,and orientation one must draw a fine line between humour and humility and this post really done it. I loved this post.

Folk said...

The topic of hazing clothed in the terminology of rituals and bonding.

Great post my friend. Had the chapter that I joined lavished in physical hazing then I would have dumped that spot. However, mental hazing... there was a whole lot of mind play and to be honest, to this day I believe one of my line brothers was mentally affected by the things that were done while playing with our minds.

Tutu said...

I never understood why our people had to inflict pain as a means of 'bonding'. Is it the fact that the line overcame pain and suffering and BS together that makes them so strong? I mean, aren't there other ways of putting a group through tribulation that won't put them in a hospital?

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♥LoVe.Peace.Curls.♥ said...

I've never understood the whole hazing thing, my boyfriend pledged 2 years ago and I supported him just like I've been doing all the years we've been together, however I had many a discussion with him at the time...i simply don't understand the point. I think maybe it's due to the fact that I've always been somewhat of a loner lol... I've never had any desire to be a part of a sorority, and when I arrived at the university I currently attend, I still had no desire, based on encounters and observations of the sororities here on my campus. However I respect the bonds that these groups form within. I don't believe some of them, but I respect it. I support my Kappa man til the end♥