Sunday, October 31, 2010

When did I know?

"How did you and when did you "choose" or "decide" that being heterosexual was the thing for you?"
This was a question that RIPPA asked me in response to a comment I made on one of the guest appearances on his blog.

The post I commented on was about how an admitted bisexual man (not one of those down-low motherfuckers) would make a woman a "good" man simply because he had his shit together.. I.E. Finances,health, physical appearance, that type of shit.

My comment was something like, Really? Why is this even a topic of discussion? Women are so desperate for a man now-a-days that they will willingly let a man into their lives that can switch between them and their male cousin at the drop of a hat? Really? 

Well in response to my comment Rippa asked me the above question; Which I admit got me to thinking....As most of Rippa's posts and the posts of his guests do.
 When did I know that I was attracted to women? When did I realize that I was "straight?" Was it a traumatic event in my life, or did I always know?

And the answer is...... I do not know.
I have always been attracted to women, it was never any question. I have always known that being sexually involved with a man was not an option for me. When I was in school I used to get dressed and undressed in a a bathroom stall for PT because I did not want to get undressed in front of another dude. It took my joining the Army to get me over that.

Matter of fact I used to be scared to death of Gay dudes. They terrified me. So being Gay was never in my  way of thinking.

So if I always knew that I was attracted to women, then is being Gay a choice or are Gay people born like me....all knowing?
I think that being "bi" is a choice... There is no plausable excuse that a person can give me on how ANYONE can switch between a man and a woman like they would switch their draws....And be comfortable with it.
Not nan excuse.

Being straight Gay...... I can understand how a Gay person always knew who they were, because I always knew. It is society that has a problem accepting that.

But for somebody  to suck a dick one day and then eat some pussy the next....well that just seems a lot like choosing to me.

I don't get it. I don't understand how a man can be attracted to another man, but I understand even less how a man or woman can go back and forth like they are crossing the street.

But as far as me knowing exactly when and how I came to be hooked on the punanny?

I could not even begin to tell ya.

3 comments:

Reggie said...

Honestly, I feel exactly the same way you do. Shit, I could've written this post.

I have always been heterosexual and I've always been attracted to females. There was never a question or a moment when I made a choice. I can clearly remember being five and feeling a certain level of attraction to the little girls in my Kindergarten class. I was never one of those boys who thought that girls had cooties.......if they did I wanted those cooties and I wanted them bad.

I also don't understand how a man could be bisexual. I don't claim to know everything; but within my own limited experience it just doesn't make sense. The difference between men and women being so vast.....I just don't get it.

I will tell you this, I read a very interesting post last week, while blog hopping. It was a post by a young gay man of color who lives in New Jersey. He wrote a story about how he and his lover had sex with a married couple and how he was anxious to experience a woman's breasts. He went on to say that he and his boyfriend both had sex with the husband (I was confused by that shit) and how he tried to have sex with the woman.

I don't understand how a heterosexual woman could lay there and watch her man have sex with another man.......and be okay with it. I actually started to blog it, but decided not to. I didn't want to offend anyone........but I just didn't understand that shit. I didn't know what to type anyway. Still, it was a rather interesting post.

America is a melting pot and people are like snowflakes, we're all a little different. That is one thing about people that I like. I don't pretend to know or understand everything, but I do believe in an individuals right to do whatever the fuck they want.

It's just that sometimes, I don't understand.

Tracy Renee Jones said...

I wrote about my life as a bisexual woman specifically for the confused folks. Simply put, you just knew because women turned you on and the thought of a man turned you off. What then is to be said when neither male or female is no different than one or the other...still confused? I'll direct your attention to my post "I'll Take One of Each Please"...and check my erotica blog if you were still interested in knowing about the round peg square hole paradox of male on male sex.

Dirty Red said...

Reggie,
That story was a little tmi...but I guess it would have been an interesting read though. You said they "attempted" to sex the wife? I do not get it either man. When I was younger this Gay dude used to come to our house and do my mothers hair. Every time he came by my Moms would cover all the kitchen chairs and anywhere this dude might sit with serane wrap. I asked her why years later and she told me that Delroy had been Gay so long that he had to wear diapers because he could not tell when he had to shit anymore. He would be talking one minute and then he would go, " oops I did myself." And he would have to go change his diaper. He had not nan ass muscle left man....not nan.
So nope.....I don't get it.

Tracie,
Thanks for commenting Boo. I hope that I did not offend you. I was just expressing my opinion. I will check your site out...please feel free to come back here anytime Ma. I would appreciate your views on the different views I might feel like talking about.