Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Black Club gotta love it....

I have some questions I have to ask about Black Clubs that has been on my mind for a minute now.

These are some questions that I would really like to know the answers to; and if anyone has the answers, please feel free to hit me up.

1. Why is there always some old dude sitting in the bathroom with cologne, condoms, gum, breath mints and whatever else that you would ordinarily already have with you? Why do they always expect you to give them tips for you washing YOUR hands?

2. Why do old people try to "step in the name of love" to every damn song? Trying to step off of "Get Low?"

3. Why do the fattest women wear the most "form fitting" shit? Bytch if you have to ask; "Does this make me look fat"? Then yes Boo-Boo it does!! FAT and PHAT mean two totally different things entirely. ENTIRELY.

4. Ladies...Why the hell do you stand up by your table; dance your ass off; and then if a dude like myself asks you to dance... you say no? You don't like this song? Really? So what where you just doing? Catching the holy ghost while listening to "Single Ladies?"

5. Why do some dudes wear a damn 3 piece zoot suit to a smoke filled, dark as fuck ass club? And then just stand on the wall where everyone in the club has to pass by them to get to the damn bar? What, you don't go home before you go to Church?  You go from doing to the Dougie straight to the Jesus Stomp? That's what's hot now-a-days? Looking like a two dollar version of TD Jakes with a side of  Bishop Don Juan....

6. And while we are on the subject of dressing....Why do the oldest cats in the club try to dress so damn young? Bytch you are damn near 40 years old! Why do you look like a young NWA version of Ice-cube/Eazy-E? Really?

7. Why do Black women spend money on  rainbow colored weaves for their "club do"?

8.  What is the purpose of a woman getting a tattoo on her damn neck? And gold teeth? Like.. a full grill?

9.  Why do men that used to be in shape wear the Under Armor outfits to the damn club like they still got it...Somewhere under all that belly?

10. And last but not least....Why do some men put the keys to their 1990 Mercedes on the bar next to their money clip when they order a drink? Who the hell is this impressing? Does this shit still work to pick up women?

There you have it folks... Feel free to educate me... Ya'll know the old saying....Knowledge is power!


BigmacInPittsburgh said...

LOL at this post Red,I haven't been into the bar and club scene in years,but as the old saying goes,the more things change,Black folk stay the same in so many areas of our social and cultural life.

Reggie said...

I wish I knew.

Some of that shit is funny as hell, but I've asked myself these things many many times.

Particularly the one about big babes wearing that sausage casing shit they wear, as if the brothers are checking for that.

Dirty Red said...

Believe me man you ain't missing shit.

This is Texas man....they like everything big out here.

Blaque Ink said...


Reggie said...

I'll be the first one to say that don't nobody want a bone but a dog, but c'mon man!!!

A man's gotta know his limitations.

Juanita said...

1st time on your blog. And this post is funny as heck. I almost forgot how it is up in the club....Pimp daddy's, and ladies who are way past their prime doing entirely too much.