Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sitting on the porch watching the world pass me by....

On my way into work this morning I heard something on the Steve Harvey morning show that got me thinking about myself...

The phone blast this morning was about women making more duckets than their significant other.. The question was will that hurt a relationship.
Well I have no problem with that. I am secure enough with who I am that I don't worry about shit like that. I know what I contribute to the relationship and I try to do the best I can with what I got. If my woman makes more money than me (which she does)...I am good with that.. I have no problem telling her I might be a little short with some shit this month..And if she is short I do what I gotta do to pick her up..That is how a marriage or boyfriend-girlfriend-boyfriend-boyfriend-girlfriend-girlfriend type relationship is supposed to work.. Two people using what they got to make the others life easier. That is what "loving" somebody is supposed to mean.

But this is not what got me to thinking....
What layed on my mind like a ton of bricks was this...

One woman called in and was like that she is wanting to stay moving and her man is comfortable with were they are..She wants to advance in life, but he is comfortable with what they have now.. Well that got me to thinking about myself...

When we first moved to Dallas about 8 years ago I was all about advancing..I had just gotten off active duty, I was in college, I was trying to find a job that better suited my personality and experience, I  was trying to write a book and I was all about keeping it moving.

Now I am back in the Army, I have finished college, well my first degree anyway, I have not even looked at my book in about 7 or 8 months and I am comfortable with my job. I am not comfortable with the money, because the more you make the more you spend, but I am ok.

So have I gotten stagnate?
I have not even looked at my resume in months and I have not even tried to find a another job.
I have even started liking what I do now.
So have I stopped moving?
Am I standing still watching the world pass me by?
These questions haunted me the whole drive into work and I cannot answer them.

I do not like the feeling that phone call gave me, because it sounded too much like me.

Am I getting old?

I don't feel old..in fact I feel like I am still in my 20's.. But my actions of late are that of my father and I don't like it.

I don't like it at all....

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