Saturday, August 20, 2011

Don't ask don't tell? Really? It should be don't show don't ask

In my last post I told y'all how I am down here in Georgia going to a military advancement class.

So far this class has been pretty cool.

Except for one thing...

There is only one female in our class. Which is not all that surprising.

There is one dude in our class that is sweeter than a bag of Reece's pieces. Which again, is not all that surprising.

The thing that bothers me and the rest of the dudes and one female in the class is that this dude is straight flamboyant with his gayness. Which again is cool with me...I prefer that if a person is gay, then be who the hell you are supposed to be.

I just don't want to get hit on by a dude. And this dude makes no qualms about what it is he is looking to "get".

That bothers me.

 First...We are supposed to be in a "professional" setting and the type of shit this dude is pulling is out of line.

Second...It is starting to make the guys(including me) and one girl in the class very uncomfortable. Nobody wants to partner up with this dude to conduct the labs that are required to pass this class.

Third...The shit just makes me feel nasty..Like I have to jump head first into a vat of hand sanitizer and just swim around in that shit.

I hate feeling like this about anybody.

I have no problem with a dude that likes dudes or a chick that is into chicks. I just don't care. There are a lot more things in this world to worry about than what 2 grown consenting ass people are doing to each other in their own time.
But what I have a problem with is when one of those grown consenting ass people try their damnedest  to pull me into what they think is "normal" behavior for them.

That's that bullshit son.

I think we as a class are going to have to have a come to Jesus meeting with our token Gay dude.

Talk about a hostile work environment.

11 comments:

Ankhesen MiƩ said...

I have no problem with a dude that likes dudes or a chick that is into chicks. I just don't care. There are a lot more things in this world to worry about than what 2 grown consenting ass people are doing to each other in their own time.

But what I have a problem with is when one of those grown consenting ass people try their damnedest to pull me into what they think is "normal" behavior for them.


I'm confused. Is he hitting on you specifically? Touching you? Asking you out?

Dirty Red said...

Ankhesen,

The dude is trying to be slick with it. He tries to be on the sly. He aint come straight with it...but he is hitting on every dude in the class. He is trying to feel us all out and it is making us very uncomfortable.

thegibbo said...

To me, your distaste has terrible echoes of the prejudices blacks have overcome. Can't you see how this sentence "But what I have a problem with is when one of those grown consenting ass people try their damnedest to pull me into what they think is "normal" behavior for them" used to be this sentence: "But what I have a problem with is when one of those negroes try their damnedest to pull me into what they think is "normal" behavior for them."?

Interracial dating 30 years ago?

thegibbo said...

To clarify my comment: homophobia amongst blacks is strange (and despicable) given black history in this country.

Dirty Red said...

Gibbo,

All I can say in response to your comment is... For Real?

Really?
After my post expressing how I and others in my class feel about this dude trying to push his "agenda" on us without our consent; all you heard is "racist,homophobe,hypocrite?"

Really?

His plight is the same as our ancestors that DIED given me the right to actually be able to express my feelings so that people like you can read them?

For Real?

That's where we are now? That's where you are taking this? I kinda expected someone to write a comment like yours. So I ain't mad at ya. I guess if you read deep enough between the lines of what I wrote and add your own little spin to it, you can come up with a conclusion like yours. You are probably not the only one that read this and concluded that I am an undercover "racist", homophobe.
But let me ensure you that that is far from the truth. But I am not going to debate with you on that subject. If your mind is made up; then so be it. However I have to ask you to reread what it is I actually wrote, and hopefully you will see that I am switching roles with the millions of women in this country that get sexually harassed on a daily basis. My intent was to show that just like those women that have to endure that bullshit,I do not like it. Would you call a woman racist against an asshole, if she were to write a post similar to mine expressing her thoughts on being treated like a piece of meat?

Things to make you go hmmmm....
But thanks for your comment...I appreciate it.

Brotha Wolf said...

Damn. I'm speechless on this one.

Black Diaspora said...

@Dirty Red: "My intent was to show that just like those women that have to endure that bullshit,I do not like it. Would you call a woman racist against an asshole, if she were to write a post similar to mine expressing her thoughts on being treated like a piece of meat?"

This, for me, is the best point of the whole piece.

Sexual orientation aside, we all have to start approaching interpersonal moments respectfully, and not with the sexual obviousness, and zeal, that might be displayed when sizing up a prostitute (male for female) for the night.

thegibbo said...

"I think we as a class are going to have to have a come to Jesus meeting with our token Gay dude."

I think this comment shows that you are a homophobe, led by your pathetic belief in magic sky fairies who watch us while we masturbate.

Why the hell would you want/need to force this guy into feeling as you do? How can you not see this is the same as 50+ years ago when whites did not believe your ancestors were fully human?

Dude, get over the imaginary jesus bullshit and deal with the real world.

Me said...

@thegibbo

There is a huge space between being oppressed and being marginalized. Said gay person if white can and does still benefit from years of oppressing others.

Also, sexual harassment is sexual harassment, Period. So the men in the class should accept or con't to be uncomfortable in order to not offend the gay guy? Really? Correct social/professional behaviors apply no matter your label. Period. Most egregious is the guy is knowinglly skating the line in order to deny plausablity. Truth of the matter is, a@@hole behavior cross all lines; gender, race, sexual identity. His homosexual status does not give him a pass. Period.

Me said...

Also, ugh@having to log in to my gmail account to leave a comment!

Reggie said...

As you know, I've never been in the military. But for the last 20 years I've worked in offices in big and small companies and in all of them there were gays and lesbians. The fact that they were of the same sex persuasion never effected work. Oh there were some people with fucked up personalities, but that didn't have anything to do with their sexuality. They're just people, open to everyone's foibles.

Once one of my coworkers was a little too friendly with me. I tried to be diplomatic and when that didn't work, I was blunt. He still didn't get it, so blunt turned into rude damned quick. He got it and I had no further issues with him.

Hopefully you and your classmates won't have a blanket party for your classmates. Hopefully a direct conversation will shine light into his eyes.

I must admit though that I am surprised that in a military setting that there would be a flamboyant individual. I would think that they would be concerned about appearances and would be hesitant to act in that manner.

Sad, but it is what it is.