Monday, November 21, 2011

The age of the metrosexual...

Since I have taken it upon myself to try to improve upon this already sexy body by putting myself through hell 4 times a week at my neighborhood LA Fitness....I have noticed several things about shit that either I was too scared to even think about or I just didn't notice...

I think it is a combination of both but I will let you, my faithful readers be the judge.....

Since I have been working out regularly for the past say...2 years now...I have been noticing the male and female body shape in a different way.

Now when I say "male" body shape, I don't mean that in a Homosexual way. I am not looking at men and getting all sexually excited or any thing like that..what I'm saying is I am looking at dudes in a way to improve on how I look. If I see a dude with cut up shoulders or arms or calf's, I think well shit...I wonder how he got his shit like that? What exercises does he do? I wonder if I can fit that into my workout? Nine times out of ten I will go up to the dude and ask them. This has gotten me some useful information and it has also gotten me some weird looks. But nine times out of ten the dude I ask will give me some pointers. I have made a few friends by doing this. I also notice when a dude is in the gym just to be seen. I am talking about the type of person that is not really into getting healthy they just want to be seen in a pair of tights and a muscle shirt. The type person that tries to work out with way too much weight for them to handle and they end up looking like they are rehearsing for a Dancing With the Stars audition. I am pretty sure all of you have seen people like this. A dude that's telling himself that he is working his biceps, but he is working every muscle in his body just to do one rep.

Yeah that guy.

I have also noticed the females that come to the gym. To tell the truth I notice them a lot more than I notice the grunting ass dudes.

I have to say that what I thought I thought was sexy about women before I got serious about getting in shape has definitely changed.
I used to tell myself that I wanted a women that worked out and kept her body tight. And in some ways I still do..but...

I prefer a woman with some looseness with her curves. I don't like all the tight muscely ass women that frequent my gym. After a while they all start to look like the grunting ass dudes. I like a little bounce and shake with my women, ya know? Now I think a women that works out is sexy...very gatdamn sexy, but there is a limit for me. I don't like a woman that works out so much that she looses her femininity. Even though I like women with nice thick thighs and legs, I don't want a women that can squat more than I can. I don't want my head crushed if I decide to put my face in the place and I start to tickle that little man in the boat..which I have been known to do....Ya understand what I'm saying?

I prefer my women to be healthy, but healthy does not mean looking like a Linebacker for the Green Bay Packers.

A little cellulite never hurt nobody, ya heard me? A woman is supposed to be soft and cuddly, not hard and manish.

And oh yeah.. I know I said I have noticed the male body a little different now...but fellas this does not mean that I want to go into a PUBLIC sauna after a nice workout and see your shriveled up ass and balls Naked ass nasty Naked in there like it is your own personal shit. I mean really son? Who the fuck goes in a PUBLIC ass sauna butt naked ass naked? To sit with other dudes? Where is this shit normal at? I understand being comfortable with your sexuality and all that, but really son?

Really?

5 comments:

Stacy H. said...

"Even though I like women with nice thick thighs and legs, I don't want a woman that can squat more than I can."
Well how about you get your squat game up? I don't get what guys want its like there can be no middle with women.

"Now I think a women that works out is sexy...very gatdamn sexy, but there is a limit for me." How can there be a limit, either she is "sexy...very gatdamn sexy" or she isn't. Because we exercise we are more flexible, we have stronger endurance, and are willing to get up and fix your butt a sandwich afterwards b/c we know we need to get some water to rehydrate ourselves after all of that hardcore activity for about an hour.

Should there be a limit on how healthy she is, how she is gaining endurance, how she is losing weight for medical reasons, how working out just overall makes you feel better, a feeling of pride and accomplishment. So we should stop all that just so you can feel better about yourself. Dude get out of here with this lol! Women don't work out just to show off to guys b/c 9.96778 times out of 10 we are not interested in the guys in the gym anyway. Especially black women have you took a look around the gym lately how many of us do you see, depending on your area not very many. Instead of encouraging us to have a "limit" step your game up on your goal and help us meet you there! Also make sure we don't end up like Big Mama in 20 years obese, straight Kunta status b/c we weren't eating or working out and now have diabetes, and totally unaware of the profound affect that exercise can do for our mind, body and soul. Instead of throwing shade our way b/c we like to be fit and healthy, give us some encouragement without “limits”…..

Reggie said...

Brother I feel you.......

I don't work out 4 times a week, but I exercise fairly regularly. I've never been attracted to women that didn't have ANY body fat. To me, that's not really sexy. I like to see curves on a woman. But I do believe that the worse term to ever hit a woman's ears was "thick". I think there is a reasonable level of body fat for a woman to sport and be sexy in my eyes. I like mine somewhere between slender and full, no skinny minis and no petunia or bovinas.

One thing I have noticed though is that about half the time when men approach you when you're working out, it's not a good thing. Half of those dudes aren't looking for pointers....they're looking for your pointer.

There are limits to everything.

Dirty Red said...

Stacy,
Thanks for your comment but...I only discussed what I like in a woman..If what I like somehow offends you..then..well it ain't like we are going to meet up at my gym anytime soon, right? But on the other hand...I agree with everything you said. We men can be very double standard when it comes to women. She can't be too fat or too skinny...she can't be too light or too dark...she either has to have no weave, but her shit can't look like a brillo pad either..it goes on and on.. To tell the truth Ma, Men don't really know what the hell we want. Only thing I can say is that we want what we want when we want it. Which is fucked up I know.. but it is what it is. Sometimes I confuse myself Boo. I might see a skinny woman and be like "damn she's fine!" and then turn around and see a "full figured" woman and be like "Gat-damn..Having all that in one place should be a crime!" The same goes for race.. I could see a white woman and just be like that is the most beautifulest creature I have ever seen...Five minutes later a Black, Hispanic or Asian woman might get the same response from me. So your comment was spot on Boo. But can I explain myself in a way that might make up for my shallowness? Nope.. But I'm only human ...And a man at that...

Reggie,
"One thing I have noticed though is that about half the time when men approach you when you're working out, it's not a good thing. Half of those dudes aren't looking for pointers....they're looking for your pointer."

...dead....

Brotha Wolf said...

LMAO! I feel you on everything you said.

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

Even at the YMCA where I go to help me live a few more healthy years,you see the mentality and characters you write about.