Thursday, July 5, 2012

Women...Can't live without them...Can't get caught killing them

I have a number of my guys that have told me that they are swearing off Black women.
They tell me that they are done with them. Now mind you these are all Black dudes that are telling me this.

They tell me that they still love Black women; they just don't want a relationship with one.
They are tired of the drama ass drama.
Most of them have babies-mamas that are full of shit; a couple have just been in a bad relationships.

Now I have been married to a Black woman for 14 years. She gets on my nerves, but I love her.

I have dated and had "carnal relations" with damn near every race of woman except Native American.

And from my vast variety of experience I have come to the conclusion that all women are basically the same. They do the same shit..but in different ways. The only difference is cultural.

All women have three basic needs...
1. They need to be constantly reminded that they are the only woman in your life.
2. They constantly need to have all of your undivided attention.
3. They have to feel as if their needs and desires are important to you.

If you do all these things no matter what the ethnic background of the woman, she will be satisfied.
She will still get on your last damn nerve, but you won't want to kill her in unspeakable; but very satisfying ways.

As for my guys....they all have the same problem with Black women..

They can't stand the attitude...the constant nagging...the always got to be right bullshit..the "I don't need a man" and I am going to do what the fuck I want to do..you can't tell me shit...I pay my own bills..etc etc..

They say they are tired of trying to be a good man but constantly getting kicked to the curb for the 40 something going on 21 year old thug.

They are tired of their babies mamas using their kids as leverage against them.

They are tired of all the materialistic bullshit.

I get on my knees every morning thanking God that I don't have a damn babies mama. And that I am no longer in the dating scene. My wife is crazy and she tests my patience on the regular...but all in all she is a good woman.

So what say you, my faithful readers?

Are my guys wrong or do they have a right to explore other options?

9 comments:

Serenity Love Sincere Peace Earth said...

I grow so tired of hearing that BS from Black men. When they speak that bullshit, I walk away before they finish. Not all Black women come with BMD. Some of us don't have or want children. Yes we have attitude. For generations we have had to be the sole controllers in our Universes either because you didn't want to or were unable to. Show me that you can handle business better than I can, and I will relinquish control to you.

What I draw up from Black men like this, and this is my perspective as a Black woman, is men want to treat us like jump offs or door mats. They behave that this is what we are supposed to be accustomed to. B.U.T. When it comes to a woman of a different ethnicity, they treat them like queens. No partner. Not going to happen.

Peace

nachalooman said...

Black women have got to face the truth: either they are dealing with PTSD and need to heal from it, or they know someone who is and need to help her heal from it.

Sisters, we cannot keep acting crazy like this or excusing our sisters who are acting crazy like this. Stop thinking that all black men are dogs and you will not attract dogs. You will attract men, who are flawed, with issues, and struggling emotionally from living in this hatefilled place called America.

Stop thinking your stuff is diamonds & gold. It's just a vagina. That is all. It's not juju no matter what a man says. Get that bull-isht out of your head, and you will be half way there.

Overstand that you are more than your VJJ, which are a dime a dozen. You are a women with self-worth and integrity, with free words of wisdom and a loving spirit, and you are a rare & valuable woman. So build yourself up.
Don't hate me for saying the T.R.U.T.H.

It's past time to change the negative dynamic, and join in with the women who have true power and self knowledge.

Mommyprayer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mommyprayer said...

Mommyprayer said...
I tell my friends with babies daddy drama to choose the father of your child wisely. Black men with babies mamas need to learn to make better choices. People do have choices.

Derek880 said...

Explore my brothers! Today's Black women aren't the Black women of my mother or my grandmother's ilk. Today's Black women seem to have this sense of entitlement. If they want to be treated like queens, then they have to ask themselves if they are willing to treat their Black man as a king. The "attitude" that they have is unwarranted. Black men didn't create those conditions for you, so we shouldn't be the recipient of the negative attitude. Black women will smile and treat a white male with respect in public, but will roll their eyes and disregard a Black man in a similar situation. This is a completely silly way to behave, and simply saying that you are that way because you are a "strong" Black woman is no longer a sufficient excuse. (What does that mean anyway?) Most women I ask can hardly define what a "strong" Black woman is.

I don't need to defend my manhood to a Black woman or any woman for that manner. I will also not compete for the title or the role of the "man" in the relationship. That's the type of attitude and behavior that is causing the brothers to explore their options. The world is difficult enough. I don't need to come home to compete with my woman to see who gets to be the man on a nightly basis. Most good men are not trying to rule over their women. They just want a little peace of mind every once in a while. Too many Black women waste most of their best years and spirits on the "thugs" of our race (all the while, ignoring and laughing at the nerds or the nice guys for being too weak), and then after the thug has spit them out, they feel that they're entitled to a good Black man. Many Black women have been their own worst enemy for years now.

Dirty Red said...

Serenity,
I agree with the "For generations we have had to be the sole controllers in our Universes either because you didn't want to or were unable to" part of your statement, and to this I say you are spot on..but the rest of it... naaa Boo..I ain't feeling it. No where in my post did I say that my guys wanted to treat Black women like "jump-offs". These are some good dudes that were either burned very badly, or they are sick and tired of being treated fucked up just because the last dude the woman was with was fucked up. Now I think that these dudes thinking that the grass is greener shit is that bullshit too. I think I said somewhere that all women do the same shit..just in different ways. If one type of woman can be a controlling, money hungry bitch..then another type of woman can be the same way.So I think my guys are a little misguided in this idea of theirs that another race of woman will be drama free...but ohh well they will see eventually.

Nachalooman,

Now I have to say this to you...
Preach, Sister!!Preach! Men are fucked up....this is true...But we only do what a woman allows us to do. We only act the way a woman allows us to act. If you demand more...then you will get more.

Mommyprayer,
Yeah...but there would be no babies mamas if there were no babies daddies. It goes both ways.

Derek,
Brother....shit...I don't know where to begin with your statement...I agree with some of your comment, but some of it is that bullshit.. I think that our generation of Black men are different too. I think that sometimes we feel entitled also. I don't think that the "attitide" that some Black women have is unwarranted. I believe that there is a cause and effect to all actions. We.... Black men/Black Women of our generation have fucked the game up. We are in aspects just like the Black Women of our generation..we want what we want when we want it. We do not want to work for nothing. We think that just because we want it a certain way then that is the way it should be. But I will say that a relationship should not be a competition to see whose nuts swing the lowest. It should be a partnership...But in today's relationship world that is not the case.

Derek880 said...

Red, we're all different bro, and to some extent I can agree with what you say. The rest of it, not so much. About 20 years or so ago, the brothers dropped the ball. Making babies, not being fathers, gangbanging, drug slinging, etc. The end result? The 20-30 something year old "men" that we have walking around today with their pants sagging down around their asses. Biggest problem? Those are the "men" that a lot of sisters think are actually men. Therefore, they base their choice of mates on this group of knuckleheads.

In response, yes, the game is fucked up. But attitude is never necessary when trying to make new connections or relationships. In the end, you attract the type of vibe that you put out. If your representation of yourself is that, then you've made the bed that you will end up lying in. Stop dealing with the type of men that treat you like jump offs, and those fools will disappear from your life.

Reggie said...

Mine drives me absolutely crazy and I know I've driven her to distraction more than a time or two. But the truth is, I love her dearly and I don't want anyone else. I couldn't imagine loving anything but a woman of color though. They make life worth living.

Unknown said...

If a black man wants to date white women, he should do so without going the extra mile of tearing down his sistas, trying to explain why he wants white meat.

My experience with black men has been one of constant lack of responsibility. From the man who left me alone to raise his child, to the man I did settle down with only for him to never want to pay bills on time or be a responsible adult.

So now I'm single again (by choice) and boy, have black men have forgotten how to ask for a date but they always know how to ask for sex. What's worse, I see men well into their 40's and 50's trying to be in Friends with Benefits relationships or just "sowing their wild oats" well into their late 50's and early 60's. Then when they finally get old and tired, they start wondering why they can't find a woman to settle down with and take care of them just because they're finally done playing games and playing around.

And when all is said and done, they turn around and call black women bitter. For raising their children alone, for putting up with their bullshit and then eschewing us entirely for white women or whoever else.

And the reasons they go after other women are not exactly complimentary to them. They are supposedly "easier to deal with" or more willing to do what they're told without asking questions or expecting to "run things".

These are traits you look for in an obedient dog, not a life partner. They're also traits massa wanted in a slave.

Black men need to evolve beyond that old school, Steve Harvey-type bullshit. "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" my ass! The title of that book alone was so insulting, there was no way I was spending my hard-earned money on it.

Step into this millennium and be willing to be equal partners with women. Step up your game and know what it takes to win a woman's heart not just some ....well, you know.

Most definitely...brothas are gonna have to step their game up. Because I refuse to settle for less. If they refuse to do more, then we are definitely at an impasse.