Sunday, April 29, 2012

The ultimate in FREE relationship advice... But I do take donations...

The wifey and I went to see Think Like  A Man last night. I have to admit that it was a pretty good movie. I really was not that excited about going to see it...since I was not a fan of the book...but after being coaxed into it..I have to say that I was impressed with it. The acting was really good...the plot was believable...and the women were gorgeous. I am pretty sure that my better half would have a thing or two to say about the dudes... especially Morris Chestnut (rolling my eyes), but if I can comment on the ladies in the movie, it is only fair that she can look too.

The only problem I have with it is the fact that the people in the movie especially the women, thought that they had to use a damn book, that is full of "common sense" shit to tell them what they need to do to get and keep a relationship. Everything in Steve Harvey's book should be common sense to most people.

Facts and examples...

1. If a woman wants to get and keep a man; then DO NOT give him any on the first date. The sooner we see you naked, the sooner you will see our backs as we are walking down the street with another woman.

2. If a woman wants to get and keep a man; then DO NOT let him get away with shit that offends you. The sooner you tell us, 'Uhh back up fool...You are not going to do that or say that to me!', the sooner we know that we better not do whatever we did again. A woman has to set up those boundaries in the beginning of any relationship. Because if you let us get away with it once...well, it is always easier to do something a second time. BUT... You don't have to be a bitch about letting us know..Just sternly pull our coats to the fact that our behavior is something you will not condone.

3. If a woman wants to get and keep a man; then DO NOT drop your standards just because you are in your late 30's or early 40's and you think you need a man because your friends all have a man. If you say you want a man that does not smoke, only drinks occasionally and works everyday; then why would you entertain the thought of being with a nukka that not only smokes like a train but has to have a morning blunt with his breakfast, some vodka in his coffee and has had 6 jobs in 6 months? Sooner or later you will get tired of his bullshit and become a bitter woman in a relationship that you knew would not work the minute you told yourself, "OK...I can put up with that. It's not that bad." Yes Mami...it is that bad!

4. If a woman wants to get and keep a man; then the same thing you did to get us in the first place; then that shit needs to be done to keep us. You cannot switch up the rules in the middle of the game.  You have to be consistent. If you were slim and petite when we first met you, then you need to stay on that side of the road. I admit that sometimes as we get older we do tend to pack on a few unwanted pounds, that is life...but you can't go from being 130 pounds to 230 and still expect us to be attracted to you. You have to remember that men are visual creatures.
Also, if your house was immaculate when you finally decide to invite us up for a night cap; then Mami you need to keep some Clorox spray within arms reach at all times.  Stay with the person we fell in love with and we will always be in love.

5. If a woman wants to get and keep a man; then DO NOT bring every man you meet around your kids. A man has to earn the right to meet your kids. You have to make sure that this is the nukka that you want to be with; how ever long it takes. You have to set the example for your kids, especially your daughters. And this rule applies to men too. You cannot bring every woman around your sons. That is just bad business.

As a matter of fact..all these rules can be used by men and women.

The main theme of this post is TREAT OTHERS EXACTLY HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. If people followed these simple common sense rules, then relationship books would not be needed. But y'all know the old saying.. There is a fool born every minute. And Steve Harvey and others like him are laughing all the way to the bank with all the fool's money that thought they needed the advice of someone that has had more bad relationships than good ones.

But I have to admit I cannot knock Brother Harvey's hustle.Get in where you fit in.. Tha's the American way after all.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Shoot first...Then ask the dead man what his intent was..The American way

I have mixed feelings on the current gun laws here in Texas.

We have the same laws here that have caused so much controversy in Florida. We have the "stand your ground" law here. I think that it goes a little too far. If you feel "threatened" seems like a very slippery slope to me.

I understand that every person has a right to defend themselves. I understand the constitutional right to bear arms and all that politically correct shit...

But....

Where is the line drawn?
Can a person feel "threatened" by a homeless person coming up to them with their hand out? Or what about a person that gets to close to them on the sidewalk?

How can "I felt threatened" be interpreted?

I understand that some people need to be shot. Some of our neighbors would make the world a better place by being under the ground instead of walking around doing shit to people just because they can...but again where is the line drawn?

A man shot and killed a 14 year old kid for breaking into his house today. Two other kids;13 and 14 got away but were later arrested. Should the kid have been shot? Yes he should have. He rolled the dice in a grown man's crap game and he crapped out. Does it matter if he was 14? Nope. He broke into one of his neighbors house with the intent to rob. He was not thinking about the man or his family. So he got what he was looking for.

But what if these 3 kids where walking through a neighborhood doing nothing wrong and were shot just because some trigger happy fool felt "threatened"?

So again...where is the line drawn?

I think we need to rethink the gun laws..but we cannot strip away a person's right to defend themselves if a perceived threat is real.

The way the laws are written now; the person that has the gun makes the rule concerning whether the threat is real or not.

This is that bullshit.

But I know good and damned well if someone tries to break into my house and I'm home with my family...if my dog don't get to them first...well it really doesn't matter if she does or not... There is going to be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing being done by the fool's family that tried to break into the house that Dirty Red built.

I'm just saying..

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Wow!! You came in 2nd? Really? That means that you were the 1st person to lose...Congratulations..Loser...

Do any of you remember who won a Silver medal in the last Olympics? What about the Bronze?
What about who lost the last NBA championship? The last Superbowl? The last World Series?

Does anyone care who comes in second? Does second place even mean anything?

Why would anyone even want to be known as the runner-up? Or instead of being a Grammy or Academy Award WINNER..you are a nominee? Really? Does that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Like you accomplished something?

I ask these questions because I was told recently that during a field day at the local elementary school...every participate got a medal whether they won or not. It is supposed to show that winning is not the only thing..It was supposed to show that win or lose we are all special.

Really?

What is the purpose of playing anything if you are not striving to be the best at that thing? Why would you want to teach children it is OK to be mediocre? I understand that you have to teach kids that you can't win everything all the time.. Sometimes you have to settle for 2nd place..There is always someone bigger, stronger and faster than you.

But that does not mean that we teach our children to settle for 2nd place just because it makes them feel good. Losing is part of life..this is true. But if a person goes through life just going along to get along....

This is that bullshit son.

We should teach our kids to be the best they can be at everything they do. We should teach them to go into every situation knowing that they can win..not hoping that they win.

Where is the drive and ambition?

All this being political correct bullshit gets on  my damn nerves.

We are raising a nation of bitches. We are raising a nation of kids that think that it is OK to come in 2nd. Or 3rd. We are raising a nation of kids that expect to be given shit even if there was no work involved. We are raising a nation of kids that think that it is OK to sit at a campfire and sing kumbaya holding hands with somebody that needs the shit kicked out of them. When I was in school, a bully got his ass beat. We did not run home and jump off a damn roof just because we got our lunch money taken. We fought back. We stood up. We may have gotten beat up..but we took that ass whooping and fought the next day..And the next day.. and the next.. until we WON.

Now...

We have a bunch of 2nd place, C student, entitled ass bitches.

Yeah I said it.