Thursday, August 30, 2012

We are not alone

I was going to talk about Politics again...but I decided against it. There is nothing new I can say. The Rethuglicans are a bunch of lying, racist, scared White men; and the Democrats are a bunch of scared, kumbaya singing, "can we all get along" assholes. Both sides make me sick.

So I am going to switch this one up a little bit.

Tonight's topic Ladies and Gents will be about......

Aliens.

Yep. You heard me. ET.. Little Green men. "Beam me up Scotty's".

See I believe in Aliens. I think they exist and I think they have been here. They might still be here for all I know.

Anyone that believes that God only created what inhabits this Planet, is in my opinion, very delusional.

Why would he stop with us? Billions of stars surround us and some people believe that this is the only one with life on it? Seriously?

I have a very good reason for believing in Aliens people. No I have not been abducted...I have never been anally probed by a Reptilian looking creature or any other creature...I have never seen an Alien, even though there are a few Humans walking around here that look very suspect...

My reason for believing in the Great beyond is very simple....

Technology.

200 years ago we were still riding horses and reading by candle light. We were living off the land and plowing it with mules. Dentists were putting wooden teeth in people's heads. Doctors were using leeches to  heal people. American Blacks were picking cotton in Mississippi. Actually bending over in the hot-ass Mississippi sun and PICKING that shit. Like with their hands...We were actually talking to each other face to face instead of texting.

The advances we have made in these relatively short 200 years have been amazing.

So how did we jump so far ahead in this "short" amount of time?\

I mean stop and think about it for a minute...

If we had been on this pace of technical advancement our entire time on this Earth, we would not be on this Earth right now. We would have been on Mars centuries ago. We would have had flying cars centuries ago. We would have been able to create Energy out of pigs guts instead of just cooking them, lathering them with hot sauce and eating them. We would be living the Battlestar Gallactia life people.

So how did we jump so far ahead in such a "short" amount of time?

Did we get smarter all of a sudden? Did certain parts of our brains just turn on?

Is that even believable?

I don't think so. Somebody or something taught us what to do. I think that they are still slowly teaching us.

For me there is no other explanation.

Anyways.... this is my opinion.

Besides I would rather talk about Aliens; than make my blood pressure go up by talking about the Hypocrisy of our Democracy. Believing in Aliens is far more believable than the Republican party is right about now.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

The truth will set you free...or either get your ass beat...

Why the hell can't some white people tell the damn truth when it comes to our President?

Tell me straight up that you don't like him because his father was African. Tell me you don't like him because you don't understand his up bringing. Tell me that you don't think a Black man will ever be qualified enough to run this country of yours. Tell me that you think his wife is too "black" for your taste. Tell me that you cannot stand his "pimp" walk. Tell me that you wish that he would stay in his place.

Just fucking tell me. I ain't gonna be mad at ya.
The truth would be very refreshing.

All this bullshit about his policies, his birth certificate, his college records, his name, his inexperience.... is exactly that..BULLSHIT.

I am tired of hearing it. It is getting old.

Who do you think you are fooling?

This President has done more in 3 and a half years than any President before him. With no backing from either side. I admit I have been very discouraged with the man at times during the past 3 years...but he has done everything he said he would do. He has tried his best to stay above all the petty racist bullshit that has been thrown at him. He has represented this country with the dignity and pride that if he were any other Race than African American, his bust would be on Mt. Rushmore right now. But because certain people in this country cannot move out of the early centuries of this country; his every move is dissected and vilified.

Tell me the gatdamn truth White People!!!

It ain't like you are doing a very good job at hiding it.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I know you ..Why don't you know me?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine the other day..
We were talking about American culture and I came to realize that I knew damn near everything about "White Culture"; but he knew hardly anything about "Black Culture". (This was a White dude by the way..).

This got me to thinking.

Why is this? Why do I know who Jennifer Anniston and  Mila Kunich  is but you have no idea who Megan Goode is? Or Gabrielle Union?

Why do I know who Def Leopard, AC/DC, Poison , Tim Mcgraw is; but you don't know Earth Wind and Fire, Confuction, or Anthony Hamilton?

Why do I know about Modern Family, Friends, Frazier; and you have no idea about Girlfriends, The Jamie Foxx Show, or the BoonDocks?

Why do I know what a Mullet is; but you have no idea what a "Fade" is?

How do I know who Kathy Griffin is; and you don't know who Simore is?

How do I know about Gucci and Tommy Hilfiger; and you don't know Phat Farm, or Rocca Wear?

This is that bullshit son.

How is it I can talk to a White person about anything that interests them; and they have no clue what interests me?

We do live in the same country right?

It's amazing to me that Black people go out their way to know how White people think, how they act, how they talk, how they walk, what they watch on TV, the music they listen too, the clothes they wear...we even go out our way to emulate them; but as far as them getting to know us...shit..we might as well have just landed in the middle of Cowboys Stadium on a damn space ship.

Our needs interests and likes are of no concern to them as long as they continue to be our needs, interests and likes.

The only thing the average White person knows about us is what they see on the national news or read in the local newspapers.

We have to know about them in order to survive in this "post racial" country of ours...but them?

Why bother?

And this is the greatest place on the face of the Planet?
Seriously?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Let he who knows no sin, cast the first stone

This is another post that I think will offend some people. This might be the one that drops some of my followers. I am about to talk about something that is near and dear to 99% of all American Black people....Christianity. It is not my intent to offend anyone...but if I do....well it is what it is.

Yesterday a minister friend of mine and I were talking..(well texting) and he pissed me the hell off.

You see, I know the dude is an ordained Southern Baptist minister. I know his views about the world we live in..and he knows mine. He tells me all the time I need to change "my way of doing stuff" if I am really going to receive "all that my Lord and savior Jesus Christ has in store for me". I tell him that I am doing just fine. I tell him that I am receiving everything that God thinks I deserve and all that I work hard for. But because I dare to question Christianity..I am sinning in his eyes.

Anyways... We was doing our thing texting back and forth, talking about the next time we will meet up to play a round of Golf, Olympics, football..you know normal man talk, when I cursed in a reply back to him.
He came back with," Man watch your mouth.. You are talking to a minister." I stopped and looked at the text and was like "No this nigga didn't."
First... I am a grown ass 40 year old man. Watch my mouth? Seriously?
Second... As I said earlier..this dude knows how I am. I have known him for about 10 years now.
Third... Did I mention that I am a GROWN-ASS 40 year old man? Watch my mouth? Really Son?

Anyways... I replied back to him that I know he is a damn minister and that I am going to be who the hell I am. If he don't  like how I express myself..then he can ask me how many shits I give. And the answer would be ZERO.

He didn't like that and he stopped texting.

Well this is my problem with Christianity and every other MAN-MADE belief that has so many people fooled....

All religions are MAN-MADE. They are based on some man's ideas on how that MAN thinks other MEN should be. If I am wrong...show me a Bible passage that even mentions the word Christian.

There is not one person on this earth that is Christ- Like. How can there be? Jesus Christ was the only perfect man besides Adam to ever walk on this Earth. We can only strive to be a little like him, but we will always fall short.

99% of all "Christians" do not know why they are Christians or how to be a Christian. Most only know a few passages out of the Bible and they only know and try to follow the "new testament." Is not the Old testament part of the book too? 
If you want to be technical about the whole thing... The bible says that we are not supposed to eat any creature that swims in the "oceans" that does not have scales... How many of Christians eat Lobsters, crabs, oysters?  Right after Sunday service? That is going against the holy book. And isn't a pig considered nasty in the Bible? But Chitlins, Hog mawls and pork chops are getting ate by the most avid of  born again Christians.

How many women go to Church every Sunday praying to the Pastor to send them a good man...but then leave church and the first thing that comes out of their mouths is "I am an independent woman. I don't need no man." You tell a woman today to submit to a man..they will cuss you all the way to the pulpit. But that is part of being a Christian, right?

How many men go to Church every Sunday. volunteer...speak to the youth...testify...and then neglect their own kids? Mistreat their wives? Cheat on their wives? But they are Christians...Yeah...

I have never been called a nigga by a Muslim, Buddhist or even atheist.
I have never been  called Tar-baby or ugly by a Muslim, Buddhist or atheist.
That beautiful little Black girl that became the first Black girl to win a individual Gold medal in Gymnastics was not made fun of because of her hair not looking "European" by a Muslim, Buddhist or Atheist...Or hell even A European... Christians did that.
That Black athlete that won a Gold medal and then Crip walked...in front of the whole DAMN world...glorifying the most negative aspect in Black American Culture...GANGS... probably calls herself a Christian.
I have only seen Christians burn crosses in other Christians yards.
I have only known Christians to enslave other Christians.
I have only known Christians to write in a countries constitution that I am only 3/5ths of a person and that I can be sold at will to another Christian.
Christians have killed and maimed other Christians who only wanted to be recognized as HUMAN.
 Hell... every Republican calls themselves "Christian".
So for this Ordained Baptist Minister to tell me to "watch my mouth"?

Yesterday might be the last day I ever talk to that "Christian".

Yeah I said it.

In the words of Rick Ross... "God Forgives...I don't"



Tuesday, August 7, 2012

My take on the Olympics

I have been watching the Olympics on and off since they started.

 I have been paying attention to the Soccer matches, swimming, gymnastics and of course the Track and Field portions.

 Some of the "sports" in the Olympics are in my opinion, that bullshit. Bad Mitton, Trampoline jumping, canoeing, Synchronized Diving, Air Pistols and Fencing?

 Really Son?
What's next? A Madden 2012 competition?

Beach Vollyball would be on my list of bullshit ass Olympic sports if it wasn't for the women playing damn near naked. I have one problem with it though. Where are the thick women Beach vollyball players? Where are the Kim Kardashians or the Beyonce's or even Ravon Symones? Now that would be a sport; watching all that cleavage and asses jumping and streching and leaning and bending over..... shit...

Next....

Now the women in the track and field?

Perfection.
 If I do say so myself. Those are some fione as all hell and back women.
Except.... And I know I'm wrong as a drive through 24 hour liquor store..(we have those in Texas)...Those women from Nigeria? They could use a little tough love from my American sisters... What? I'm just saying what everybody else is saying...

I have to say this about the men Track and field athletes.... Why do they show direct face shots of  them running in slow motion? All you see is lips and mouths flopping around.. They look like cows eating. It just takes away from the whole damn event. I have to give a shout out to poor little Tink-Tink..( If any of ya'll are Cat Williams fans then you know who I mean). That dude is amazing. He is an inspiration to not only handicapped athletes...but to all people in general. He might have come in last; but he came in. Salute!!

The women swimmers? Naaa.. Those women look like a bunch of dudes in drag. All those shoulders and flat back noassitol ass women....naaa....

The divers...yep.. They are up there with the Track and field women. Nice and shapely and thick and limber and.... just... damn.

I feel like a damn pervert watching the women gymnastic competition though. Those little girls are talented as hell, but do they have to make them look so damn...provocative? They are only tweens for Christ sakes;but they look like grown ass women!! I switch the channel when they are on. I don't wanna look at little girls like that.  It makes me feel like a character on Law and Order SVU. Just all nasty and shit.
What? I know I ain't the only dude that has thought it.

Those gymnastic dudes? Man they have to be the strongest men on the planet!! I consider myself in decent shape; but the shit those nukkas can do? Those parallel bars? The rings? The damn horse thing where they spin all around and shit? All that damn running and vaulting and jumping 50 feet in the damn air flat footed? That shit is amazing to me.

And the water polo competition? That has got to be up there with the most tiresome sports in the world.  I know I couldn't do it. I am a very weak swimmer. If I swim for more than 50 yards, I feel like I need a week long nap. But those water polo Olympic athletes? I salute you son. Even though I don't understand what the hell is going on.

This is just my take on the Olympics so far..
Have you been watching? What is your favorite sport?