I am debating on whether I am going to give up my little ole blog. I don't have the time to attend to it the way I used to. Since I'm back in the military full time now...that consumes the majority of my time. I am constantly on the go. And if I'm not in another country doing Lord knows what..I am in my office until 7 or 8 at night. And also since I have a family....I have to spend those rare moments making sure that they remember who I am.
So I apologize for my absence....but as of right now, it is what it is. I haven't made up my mind as to whether I'm going to stop blogging all together...but I am definitely going on a little sabbatical for a while.
I will keep all my faithful readers informed of my ultimate decision.
I was told the other day that I do not look my age.
I was told that I look at least 10 years younger than I am.
Of course I took that as a compliment;since no one in their right mind wants to look old. I'm not old..I turned 40 a couple of months back..but no one wants to look 40. Hell no one wants to look 30.
People that tell me I look good for my age pisses me off..'I look good for my age'..really? Bytch, I look good for any age....
Anyways... back on topic...
Most of the people that tell me this are White Folks.
I even had a dude ask me what kind of facial cream I use to keep my skin so smooth.
I have also been complimented on my skin tone. By White Folks women.
They act like that it is so damn amazing that my skin is so...well...cared for. I take pride in how I look. Which to me is common sense.
But I have to admit, most of the people that compliment me, are my age and they look it...if not older.
So I take what they say with a grain of salt.
I come from a long line of good genes. My Moms is 58 and looks 40..my Pops (before he died) was 57 and looked 40..My Grams is 81 and looks 60..My Big Pops is 85 and looks 60 and so on and so forth.
So to me looking "young" is normal.
Matter of fact...I don't know any Black people that look their age.
We all look younger than we are. Unless a dummy is on that shit or they drink like whales.
From what I notice..most White folks try too damn hard to look younger than they are.
From wearing too much damn make-up...to laying out roasting in the damn sun..to botox and plastic surgery... to dressing younger than they should.
I don't get it. Take care of yourself...and yourself will take care of you..
That's how I see it anyways.
And don't hate on me and mine because we 'look good for our age'.
Ecclesiastes is my new favorite book in the Bible.
A lot of the sayings that my Grams used to say derive from this book.
I didn't realize this until I was reading through the Bible yesterday. This is a very beautiful piece of work. Damn near every question I have ever asked about life is covered in this short book of the Bible.
Facts and examples...
The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools. Ecclesiastes 9:17. Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions. Ecclesiastes 7:10 Anyone who is among the living has hope --even a live dog is better off than a dead lion! For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even the memory of them is forgotten. Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:4-6 When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the [temple] messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God. Ecclesiastes 5:4-7
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Y'all see what I'm talking about? This book is that shit!!
Anyways I wanted to share this with y'all.
Hope you enjoyed it.
My unit just got back from Australia, I was scheduled to be in Korea now; but I was taken off the list...I leave for Japan in a month and a month after that I head to the Philippines.
So that is my excuse for not keeping up with my blog.
Sure I could have updated it...but after 12 hour days..and 4 different time zones...well...need I say more?
I have to say that I love my job. I should have done this years ago instead of staying in Dallas for so long. Don't get me wrong..I love Dallas and all and after I hang up my boots for good I'm moving back there. But as of right now..I have to say that I really love what I am doing.
My wife still has not adjusted to the Pacific Northwest; but she is coming around slowly but surely. There is not a very big Black "presence" up here as compared to Dallas and that is a problem for her.
But me... I can adapt to anything. I am a soldier damn it.
There are two things that really bother me up here though...
1. There is not a dedicated Black radio station up here.Even though I listen to everything from Rock to Classical..just the fact that I can not just switch channels to listen to whatever I am in the mood for, is that bullshit. There is a station that plays watered down "hip-hop"/pop and bubblegum ass "R&B"..but no good station. So I had to hook up Sirius/XM in my truck. Which I have to pay for by the way.
2. The way people drive up here is seriously making me want to just bust off a few rounds. It is driving me crazy. Traffic is insane. At all hours. It makes me not want to go anywhere. I get pissed off every damn day I have to get on Interstate 5...Which is every damn day. 60 miles a fucking hour! Seriously? That shit is killing me. In Dallas you drive 80/90 MPH or you get ran off the damn road. Here? Shit. These fools drive the fucking speed limit. They act like they are 80 years old taking a Sunday drive through the country. In Dallas, if there is a traffic jam, there is a reason for it. Here? It is backed up just to be backed the hell up. For no reason. Not nan reason. I got a ticket yesterday for doing a California stop at a stop sign...a block form my house! Where does that shit happen at? Ain't nobody got time for that bullshit.
But other than that..this place ain't all bad. Seattle is nice. Tacoma is ghetto as hell but it is OK. I haven't made it to Portland or Canada yet..but it's coming as soon as all these international missions slow down for me.
So to all my faithful readers..please be patient with me. I will continue to share my thoughts when I have a few moments to unwind but there might be a little time in between posts.
I'm just out here doing my part in keeping y'all safe..
I first have to address the pink elephant in the room..how many niggas were even at a Kenny Chesney concert? I mean besides the one that was working there that he was upset with?
Well me personally...I ain't even mad.
Why, you are probably asking?
1. This dude got drunk and the real him came slamming to the surface. So now the world knows what's in his heart.
2. Some of his teammates are going to see how many "nigga" asses he really wants to kick.
3. He is a Wide Receiver in the NFL....Last I checked...the NFL was over 70% Black.
So this dude will be dealt with no matter how many heartfelt apologies he gives on national TV.
So no..I ain't mad.
Stephen A. Smith said this morning on ESPN's First Take, that we as a people have to reevaluate ourselves.
His partner, Skip Bayless, said he would have cut the dude from the team if it were up to him.
That's a little extreme there, Skip.
Would I have cut him? Naaa..
I would have fined him..a big fine..and kept it moving. But..if he gets fined..then every Black person in that locker room should be fined whenever they say the dreaded "n" word too.
That is only fair.
I have admitted on this very blog and in the comment section of some of my favorite fellow bloggers, about my live-long affair with the word nigga.
I say it. Alot. It's wrong..it is a habit I am trying to break. I am a work in progress.
I call bullshit to whomever says that it's different when we say it though.
Sure I have used it..and still use it to describe some of my homies...members of my family..or just some dude that I don't know.
But I have also used it to describe somebody that I was mad at, didn't like or somebody who I thought was just an asshole.
Does this sound familiar? Can we say Paula Dean..The dude from Seinfeld...Mel Gibson...the Bounty Hunter asshole and every other white dude that thinks he is safe among friends?
So what's the difference between me saying it or some White person saying it?
It is a degrading word..and until we stop degrading ourselves to the world..we as a people need to shut the fuck up.
For us to say that we can do something, but someone else can't...that is that bullshit. Wasn't that the entire premise behind the entire civil rights movement? Our forefathers DIED to give us the right to do, say and go whatever or wherever the hell we wanted to do, say or go..So does that same right not apply to White folks?
Really? Are we no better than that?
So let White People get it off their chests and yell NIGGER!! from the highest mountain top. We have given them that right by our own actions.
There are a only a few things in this world that really bother me.
1A. Anonymous comment's on blogs. (See "A White mans" comment on my previous post.) It's amazing to me how much people's nuts grow when they are in the comfort of their own safe environment.
1B. People not taking responsibility for their actions; if responsibility is needed to be taken. I.E. snitches. I cannot stand a snitch. Let me give you my definition of a "snitch". A snitch to me is some punk that does dirt with you..hangs with you and is complicit in everything you do. Then when the heat is on...he "dimes" you out to save his own sorry ass. That is a snitch. A snitch is not someone that reports a crime to the police. A crime that he witnessed and had nothing to do with. A crime that brought unnecessary hardship to someone else.
2. I cannot stand some Black people using discrimination as an excuse to not try. Anything. I cannot stand the way the media and people in the media use race as a divider. Not everything is racism.
3. I cannot stand to hear Black women say there are no "good Black Men". There are plenty of good Black men in this country. Hell..if I do say so myself..you are reading the words of one good damned Black man. But there will never be any good Black men in some of these women's lives if they refuse to look in the mirror and ask themselves why they keep attracting the same kind of no good ass asshole.
4. I cannot stand to hear a Black man say that he does not want to have anything to do with a Black woman. I understand that at times Black women can be difficult to be with..but that is a problem that we made. I have nothing against Interracial relationships..get in where you fit in..but to write off all of your own just because you had a problem with one..that is that bullshit.
5. I cannot stand people that are put into a leadership positions that abuse that position. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat their subordinates. This is one of the main problems I have with the damn Police. And politicians.
6. I cannot stand the Washington Foreskins. RGIII be damned. That is all on that.
7. I cannot stand White people that try to say that Black people are more racist now. Really? If anyone has a right to be racist and hateful in this "Country of Freedom"..It is Black People. We have been given the short end of the stick(if we are even given a stick to begin with) since...well ever since. And by whom, may I ask? WHITE PEOPLE. And now that we have a voice and are calling people out..we are more racist now? Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit.
8. I cannot stand Whiz Kaleefa and all the other bullshit ass bubblegum ass rappers that seem to fall out the sky these days.
9. I cannot stand today's R&B music. It's all "let me fuck you all night..in the club..in my Maybach..just let me fuck you..after we get these drinks and pop this Molly".. Straight baby back bullshit, son.
10. I cannot stand Black people that make excuses for Niggas. Being a Nigga is not part of our culture. We can all be niggas at some point during the day. Lord knows I can anyway. But when you see some Black person doing some coontastic niggerish shit that you know is some coonfabulous niggerish shit...call it what it is and stop acting like it is ok to be niggerish. That shit is not ok son. It just ain't.
I really didn't want to talk about the Travon Martin case.
I really didn't.
I can't stay silent anymore.
I have caught snidbits of the trial here and there.
I refuse to watch it 24/7 like the wifey is doing. I refuse to watch because to me this whole thing is a damn joke.
And it pisses me off.
The prosecution never wanted this murder trial in the first place and from what I can tell, it shows. They are not even trying to do their jobs. They are not prepping their witnesses..They are not objecting to shit that they should object to and they are letting the defense just tear them apart.
I don't like it..but I am not surprised.
This boy's prior bad acts have nothing to do with him getting killed. His prior drug use has nothing to do with him getting killed. His getting suspended from school has nothing to do with him getting killed. His right to defend his self against a rogue wannabe flashlight cop is not what got him killed. As far as I can tell, he was living exactly how a teenager in today's world lives. He was rebellious...He thought he was invincible...He thought he was going to live forever.
He was not a criminal..He was not a "thug". He was aTEENAGER. Doing TEENAGE shit.
What got him killed is his SKIN.
His skin that was out of place in that neighborhood.
His skin that America thinks is an automatic reason to distrust someone.
That is what got Travon Martin killed. He was killed by a punk bytch ass failure, that wanted to prove to the local fuzz that they should have never passed him over.
So I am not surprised that the trial is going the way it is. I will not be mad or upset when this bytch walks out of the courthouse to the applause of his family, friends and his fellow Americans.
I am not surprised.
This is the "norm" for America.
This is what we do here in the land of the "free".
Black people in this country are Guilty until proven not so guilty.
I was asked today what I feel about this "controversy" surrounding Paula Deen.
I replied that I could give a shit about her and her "controversy". I replied that this did not surprise me at all. I did not support her before her little "slip" of the tongue and I don't plan on supporting her now. I don't see how anybody would. This woman has made millions selling "comfort" food....IE... food with high calories, high cholesterol levels, high sugar content and everything else that is killing off Americans by the thousands every year..especially Black and poor Americans. And she has admitted to having type 2 diabetes her damn self...probably from eating her own shit; So no.. I have never supported her.
It just surprises me that people are surprised by her choice of words when she didn't think the cameras were rolling. She is an OLD.... SOUTHERN..... WHITE..... Woman. She grew up around people that threw the word Nigger around like a Frisbee. That's what she knows. That's who she is. That's what the people that are in her circle do. So what did people expect? Is she a racist? I don't know. But it damn sho looks like that any person that looks like me would not get invited to Thanksgiving at her house unless I was doing the serving, the coat checking or if I was parking her real invited
But it is her American right to call a nigger a nigger if she wants to. She is protected by the sacred constitution to do so. The constitution does not say that freedom of speech only applies if what you say does not offend anyone. So let her put her foot in her mouth. It is her God giving right. Now having said that..I have to say this...
Don't support her dumb ass. Don't watch her shows..don't buy her cookbooks..don't go to her restaurants...don't give her any of your little jigaboo money.
That is our right as Americans. We don't need to march and protest and hold Internet polls.
Just... don't... support... her.
Hit her in her pocket. That is the only thing rich people understand. Money.
So don't be surprised that another "respected" asshole in our Country let out their little secret. There will be another one next week....Just be glad that they finally decided to cut their lawn so the snakes can be seen.
"How many drinks will it take for you to leave with me? Girl I got money, but I ain't trying to waste time."
Just marinate on that for a minute.
I got a question....Is this what the young people are calling a pick up line now?
The above mentioned verse is the hook for a "R&B" song that I heard on the way to work this morning.
Seriously? This is the new hotness in the land of teens and twenty-somethings today?
Damn..I'm getting old.
In my day, saying this to a female in the club would have gotten me slapped and embarrassed in front of my guys.
Hell...this line would get me slapped and embarrassed today if I choose to go up to a female and spit this bullshit.
What happened to...."Hi. How are you doing this evening. My name is Dirty Red. I was noticing how you are dancing in place to this song. Yeah.. It is the jam. Would you do me the honor of allowing me a dance?"
Or.."Hello. How are you doing tonight? Do you like this song playing now? Would you have any objection with joining me on the dance floor while the DJ is spinning it?
Or even this..." Hi. Would you mind if I gave you a compliment? Well, I think you are a very nice looking woman and I noticed how you were swaying to this song right here and I was wondering if you would let a brother like me escort you to the dance floor so that we can groove to it together."
But this bullshit "How many drinks before you leave with me shit," Seriously?
Is this what we are teaching our young men? And our young women..is this supposed to just make you gush all over with excitement? What kind of young lady that has any type pride about herself would fall for some bullshit like that?
These cats these days have no clue how to talk to a woman. Everything is bitch this..Hoe this..Give me that pussy...Pop this Molly..Drink this..
Its nauseating. What's even worse is that the young women of today are allowing it.
There are no rules in this generation of young people. I am pretty sure my Parents and Grandparents said the same thing about our generation...but today?
This morning on my way to work, I heard some shit that got me to thinking.
If you and your significant other broke it off...is it cool for your friends to still be cool with them or even hook up with them?
In my opinion..yes it is cool. And here is why I think so.
1. The person is your EX. That means that you have no power on who they choose to hang or be with.
2. The person is your ex for a reason. You obviously want nothing else to do with them, so why hate on the fact that someone else does?
3. If your friends have seen what you went through with your ex and they want to get a taste of it too..then a hard head makes a soft ass.
4. Just because you and your ex didn't work out..why hate on the fact that they might hit it off with someone they knew just as long as they have known you? They could have been in the books all along and you were just in the way.
5. And last but not least..Get over it.
Now the only problem with this is, is if your ex is your ex because of your friends.....then maybe you need to reevaluate your "friends".
In my opinion jealousy is a wasted emotion. It makes no sense to be jealous of anyone. 9 times out of 10, the person that you are jealous of probably could give a fuck whether you are jealous of them or not.
So why waste your time thinking about what someone is doing, who they are doing, what they are wearing, what they are driving or where they are living? Again...9 times out of 10 their lives ain't as Cadillac as you think it is. They are probably just as fucked up as you are.
So in my opinion if your ex ends up getting with or staying friends with some of your partners...then don't hate...congratulate.
There is a major shortage of Love in this world as it is.
There was a lot of racist backlash concerning the commercial. It ranged from my reaction, that it was a cute commercial, to the mother would soon be a single parent if she wasn't already, since the father was obviously Black, to why is the mother white; whats wrong with a black woman playing that part...yada yada yada.
And this is supposed to a "post-racial" society..
Yeah...I'll wait on that.
Racism goes both ways. I know some racist ass Black people, racist ass White people, racist ass Mexican people, racist ass Asian people and recently I met some racist ass Native American people. So racism knows no color.
We are all biased in some way. I know I am. I see nothing wrong with anyone being proud of their heritage. If your heritage includes being a southern redneck, then you should not be ashamed of that. Same thing applies if you are a Northern "Yankee". I would not have a problem if someone started a "White Entertainment Television" or started a magazine called " Ivory". I would not have a problem with a "White History" month. I know why we (Black people)have all those things; since we were not included in anything (Black people)
back in the days...we were supposed to be seen cleaning, singing and dancing but nothing else..so we had to show pride in ourselves by doing it ourselves, but I still would not have a problem if some White Person decides to start up something like that. Be proud of who you are. Wear that shit proudly son.
My problem comes into play when you use your pride to degrade and dismiss others.
White people are not superior to me. No race of people is superior to me. I am not superior to any other race of people. We are all fucked up together.
But I am proud of being Black. I do gravitate to the "Black table", if I go out somewhere. I do relate better with people that look, talk and act like me. I am very sensitive to things that I consider degrading to my culture and my people. I expect other people to do and feel the same. That does not make me a racist. It makes me HUMAN.
I will not lie and say I do not see color; because I do. Of course I do. But I don't let color stop me from seeing the HUMAN that is wrapped in that color. I do not like everybody and I don't try to appease everybody. I say what I mean and I don't make bullshit ass apologies if what I say offends anyone. Apologies are for things that were mistakes. If I mean what I say; there is no mistake. If I voice my opinion and it offends you...then you can count the fingers on a double hand amputee and that will tell you how many fucks I give. But....
If what I say is taken the wrong way and it really hurts someone..then I will apologize and I will (try to)explain my position; because to hurt is not my intention. But....
Sometimes it is my INTENTION to hurt someone..and if that is the case; refer to the last sentence of the paragraph one sentence above this one.
Racism will always exist. It is an ingrained HUMAN flaw. People will always find something about someone else to hate. That's just who we are. But the hated on cannot let others hatred of them stop them from achieving whatever it is they are trying to achieve. Racism is not an excuse to stop living...it should be an excuse to let your nuts drop and fight back.
That is all.
This has been a Dirty Red Public Service Announcement.
For the first time in years I am satisfied with my job and my station in life. I finally understand what it is I am and what it is that God wants me to do and be. (At least I think I know. But it is God..so who really knows?) For the first time in years I am not worried about money. My bills are paid. I have a little extra change in the bank and for a the first time I can take deep breaths and relax.
I was doing OK in Dallas. I grew to love Dallas. Whenever I retire, the Wifey and I plan on moving back to Dallas. But I was not satisfied with just being in Dallas and just being OK. I was in a job that I hated; even though the money was OK. But it seemed like I could never catch up. I was always behind...either in my advancement at my job or bills or whatever. It was like I didn't fit in there. When I finished College and went back into the Military in a reserve capacity, I got bit by the Military bug all over again.
When I got out of the Army the first time I told myself that I was done with it. I was burned out...mentally and physically. I was tired of being deployed. I was tired of the military bullshit. I was just plain ole tired. I didn't think I could take it anymore. But while in the reserves; I got that itch back. But the reserves was not cutting it for me. I wanted more. It seemed like whenever I was not at drill, I felt like a junkie needing a fix. I craved it.
So here I am. Back full time and loving every minute of it. I kick myself in the ass everyday because if I had not gotten out I would have been eligible to retire last year. But it is what it is.
I am older than most of my unit...Hell I'm four years older than my damn 1st SGT!! But that's OK. It is like I never left. I needed that little break I took to recharge.
I am enjoying myself. I am enjoying the responsibility of caring for soldiers once again. I am thankful that God gave me the motivation to keep my mind and my body in decent shape. It is almost like this is what he wanted me to do all along.
For the first time in years, I look forward to going to work. Yes it is a lot of bullshit. Yes I will probably get deployed again..and yes some days after a long ass long 3 mile run, I ask myself just exactly what the fuck do I think I am doing, with my not so young anymore ass...but as of this minute? right now?
I am a Soldier.. And I could not see myself doing anything else.