Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I am a Soldier and wouldn't want it anyother way

For the first time in years I am satisfied with my job and my station in life. I finally understand what it is I am and what it is that God wants me to do and be. (At least I think I know. But it is God..so who really knows?) For the first time in years I am not worried about money. My bills are paid. I have a little extra change in the bank and for a the first time I can take deep breaths and relax.

I was doing OK in Dallas. I grew to love Dallas. Whenever I retire, the Wifey and I plan on moving back to Dallas. But I was not satisfied with just being in Dallas and just being OK. I was in a job that I hated; even though the money was OK. But it seemed like I could never catch up. I was always behind...either in my advancement at my job or bills or whatever. It was like I didn't fit in there. When I finished College and went back into the Military in a reserve capacity, I got bit by the Military bug all over again.

When I got out of the Army the first time I told myself that I was done with it. I was burned out...mentally and physically. I was tired of being deployed. I was tired of the military bullshit. I was just plain ole tired. I didn't think I could take it anymore.  But while in the reserves; I got that itch back. But the reserves was not cutting it for me. I wanted more. It seemed like whenever I was not at drill, I felt like a junkie needing a fix. I craved it.

 So here I am. Back full time and loving every minute of it. I kick myself in the ass everyday because if I had not gotten out I would have been eligible to retire last year.  But it is what it is.

I am older than most of my unit...Hell I'm four years older than my damn 1st SGT!! But that's OK. It is like I never left. I needed that little break I took to recharge.

I am enjoying myself. I am enjoying the responsibility of caring for soldiers once again. I am thankful that God gave me the motivation to keep my mind and my body in decent shape. It is almost like this is what he wanted me to do all along.

For the first time in years, I look forward to going to work. Yes it is a lot of bullshit. Yes I will probably get deployed again..and yes some days after a long ass long 3 mile run, I  ask myself just exactly what the fuck do I think I am doing, with my not so young anymore ass...but as of this minute? right now?

I am a Soldier.. And I could not see myself doing anything else.

3 comments:

Donnell Harvey said...

Hey Redd without sounding to effeminate I am happy you found your niche. You sound as if you are in a good place in your life. Civilians will never know the camaraderie of men deployed together in real world situation.
These guys become friends for life when one seperates oh brother how you miss it you miss the uniform the rank the power the women the travel. Man I could really go on but I won't, I'm glad I served I ended up with a good job a beautiful wife and 3 daughters we all live under the same roof an I think the Air Force made me a better man not to mention that sweet ass VA loan. Well that's it Redd have a good one stay happy yu are in a beautiful ar f the country. Peace

Dirty Red said...

Donnell,
Thank's man. Your are very right. If a person has never been in the military;they have no clue how close we can get to one another. I am stationed in WA state now. It is very beautiful up here. But I have to say that it ain't Dallas!

Reggie said...

Thank you for serving my brother!!